Not once, mind you

Today I burned dinner. twice.

I feel it necessary to defend myself here and say that my memory has gone downhill since I became a mother, but in truth…I’m a chronic food burner. I will go out on a limb here and confess that I find myself to be an amazing cook (so humble, yes, thank you), but unfortunately a creative cook does not a clock watcher make.

I burnt dinner the first time when I had pinto beans on the stove soaking. I was heading out for a walk with Violet to the library and I decided that while we got ready I would turn the beans on to get the cooking process started. As soon as we were ready to leave, I then turned off the beans and put the lid on. Wait, I lied. I actually just walked out the door to return a hour later to a house full of smoke while holding a sleeping baby. Once every door and window was open (which isn’t saying a lot when you live in a condo) I went and sat on the patio holding the still-sleeping baby so that we could wait out the smoke that was billowing from the windows.

If you’ve ever cooked beans from scratch, you know how bad they smell when they burn. real real bad.

Anyway, by this time it was too late to start the beans over again, so I switched directions and decided to cook some brown rice instead. I filled up the pot with the rice and water, turned on the stove and went upstairs to change Violet. A little while later, we went back downstairs just in time to try some perfectly steamed rice with soy sauce. Actually, I realized that the burnt bean smell was getting worse and worse until it occurred to me that the smell was more like burnt rice. that’s right, I came downstairs to see smoke billowing from the top of the second dinner of the day.

Needless to say, I didn’t turn on the stove again and let AJ cook tomato basil soup for dinner when he got home.

the worst part? my house reeks. reeks (reeks.) Here’s how bad; when we were leaving the gym tonight and I opened my locker to pull my bag out, the locker smelt like smokey burnt beans and rice.  Any bright ideas here? I’ve already misted the whole house with white vinegar and febreeze…


Happy Birthday to the Queen

apparently it’s her birthday in Australia

My mom reminded me that the Old Mother Hubbard nursery rhyme gets worse. Here’s one of the next verses:

She went to the baker’s
To buy him some bread;
But when she came back
The poor dog was dead.

Now that’s just cute.

Quote Of The Day

“They’re just like crunchy little mouse turds, minus the flavor.”

Don’t ask. Okay, it was AJ. He was talking about how he never liked rice growing up until I introduced him to brown rice. Don’t ask me how he knows what mouse turds taste like.