Pinata Post

I called it that because this one is a mixed bag of goodies. Here we go.

First off, I forgot to mention yesterday that in the midst of my shameful bowling episode, Violet came to my rescue and peed all over me so that we had to leave. There’s a first for everything I guess. She had had a sippycup  with watered-down juice on the way to the bowling alley and that stuff went through her way faster than I anticipated. I was standing there holding her and the next thing I knew, my stomach was wet and there was a curious dripping on the toe of my rented bowling shoe. No, we didn’t tell them as we returned it. Is that bad?

Secondly, my 4th brother broke his wrist, and the quack Dr. they took him to decided to put him in a cast from the middle of his bicep to his hand. A broken WRIST!On second thought, maybe this Doc knew my family and my brother’s propensity for danger. Hmmm…I take back the “quack” part.  Anyway, as soon as he walked in the door today withhis new cast we were armed to greet him with markers. The first three quotes to grace his arm?

“Given is a sexy beast.”

“GIRL MAGNET!”

“Blessong is cooler.” (Blessong is his younger brother)

sorry Mom and Dad, you have to admit it’s funny.

And now, in today’s relevant news: National Doughnut Day. I hope you ate one. I did. AJ made me do it….AJ and maybe me. I probably shouldn’t have because there are plenty of times that I eat doughnuts when it isn’t  National Doughnut Day, but when you have some of the most amazing doughnuts available to the public five minutes from your house…

Lastly (Is that a word? Will one of you get back to me on that?), this is mostly an explanation for my husband as to why it takes me so long to shower in the women’s locker room at the sports club that we just joined. (Let me tell you, EX-PEN-SIVE!) Here’s a rundown of everything I do in the order that I do it as soon as I enter the room.

  1. Cover my eyes. seriously, the only people that should be modest in a changing room are the only ones that aren’t! I have no beef with naked people…they just gross me out.
  2. Go to my locker and get out my towel and switch out my shoes for flipflips. Did I mention I’m a major germ-a-phobe?
  3. Go to a bathroom stall to undress and wrap myself in said towel. Don’t touch the towel to anything.
  4. Carry all my things back to my locker and put them in my bag. The trick here is to not bend over too far; see above point.
  5. Walk over to the shower stall and shower; being careful not to touch anything.
  6. Next is the precarious process of drying myself without (a) touching anything, or (b) accidentally flashing some old lady who probably can’t see that far anyway.
  7. Rewrap myself in the towel and head back to the locker to extract my clean clothes.
  8. Once back in the bathroom stall, I dress. Only this time with the handicap of slightly damp and tacky skin which makes this whole process much slower. Again with the whole not touching anything.
  9. Almost done. See, you’re getting tired too! I told you it took me a long time to get ready.
  10. Finally, put the wet towel in a plastic bag and into my gym bag,
  11. deodorant,
  12. lotion,
  13. foundation,
  14. curl eyelashes,
  15. mascara,
  16. hair.
  17. Go back to locker and try to fit everything in the gym bag which seems to have mysteriously shrunk, and this is inconvenient because i have more stuff now.
  18. aaaaand….TIME!

See, he thinks I waste all my time on long showers or the sauna. I wish!

Later, Ya’ll

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