One of the ways AJ is a great dad

The following was overheard during story time.

“No! don’t eat me” said the gingerbread man to the fox. “Instead, lets go back to my house and the old man and the old woman will make us tons and tons of gingerbread people for us to eat in a cannibalistic feast!”.

1. AJ likes to paraphrase story books.

2. He especially likes to paraphrase them when they change the original ending of the nursery story to being something PC and cheesy.

If i was making a list of awesome things, the Santa Claus Mellon would definately be on it. It was the most amazing mellon I have ever had in my entire life. I bought it this afternoon at schuh farms in stanwood. Here’s a picture I found online. Go buy one. Seriously. Now.

Ok, so I know I missed yesterday’s entry for the

Five Things You’re Probably Not Doing With Five Things You Probably Have

So I’m doing three and four today. Here goes.

Third thing: Baking soda.

  1. Sprinkle, let sit, and then vacuum off of carpets and upholstery in place of carpet freshener.
  2. Sprinkle in bath for softer skin.
  3. Make a paste with water and apply to bug bites for relief.
  4. Sprinkle (again) into the laundry basket to keep odors at bay before you wash.
  5. 1 teaspoon of baking soda for 4 cups of water to keep cut flowers fresh longer.

Fourth thing: Lemons/Lemon juice.

  1. Spray or wipe lemon juice on the inside of your shower or bath and let sit 15 minutes at least to dissolve soap scum and hard water deposits.
  2. 1/2 cup into the clothes washer to brighten without bleaching.
  3. Dab on a blemish to help it clear up quicker.
  4. Rub a cut lemon on wooden cutting boards to remove strong odors.
  5. Throw lemon peels and ice cubes down garbage disposal to freshen and clean.
Standard

Happy Birthday to the Queen

apparently it’s her birthday in Australia

My mom reminded me that the Old Mother Hubbard nursery rhyme gets worse. Here’s one of the next verses:

She went to the baker’s
To buy him some bread;
But when she came back
The poor dog was dead.

Now that’s just cute.

Quote Of The Day

“They’re just like crunchy little mouse turds, minus the flavor.”

Don’t ask. Okay, it was AJ. He was talking about how he never liked rice growing up until I introduced him to brown rice. Don’t ask me how he knows what mouse turds taste like.

Standard

so, yeah…

you ever notice how nursery rhymes are unsuitable for children? Seriously, here are some examples.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and no one could put him back together again?

Rock a bye baby, when the bow breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby?

Old mother hubbard went to her cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone, but when she got there the cupboard was bare and so the poor dog had none?

London bridge is falling down?

And my personal favorite; and now I lay me down to sleep…if I should die before I wake…

You wonder why your kid has problems falling asleep at night?

Anyway, It just kind of struck me today.

Come here my sweet little baby, lets read some Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes! Lets see…here’s one about a little boy and girl called Jack and Jill. They were running along and then Jack fell down and broke his crown–wait, he broke his head open? Next! Okay, this story is about a little girl called Little Miss Muffet. One day she was eating breakfast and a spider scared her away. Hmmm, just kidding–lets try another. “Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye; four and twenty blackbirds baked in a–?”

Standard