The Sauce Stashers


You’ve seen them…furtively grabbing hand fulls of hot sauce packets for their lonely little taco, using one and then shoving the rest in their pockets. Men in power suits with a laptop, old women with flowers on their hat, little kids with big pockets in their baggy jeans. All of them–sauce stashers. It’s not stealing if they’re free, right? I think our personal record is…a ton. literally, almost a ton. You see, I am a sauce stasher. I wasn’t always this way, until once upon a time I got married to a shameless sauce stasher who had perfected the snatch, stash, and dash routine with the local Taco Bell. At first I resisted his advances to put his hand-fulls of sauce in my purse for our “lunch” (and dinner, and lunch, and dinner, and…) but when I realized that doing so meant I was walking out of Taco Bell next to a man with bulging pockets and hands full of sauce packets, and that Taco Bell sauce makes amazing quesadillas at home….well, lets just say I’m one of them now.


It’s Official!

Violet has her first tooth! Two days before her 9-month birthday, the first little tooth sees the light of day. So weird to picture her with teeth…

There are fewer things cuter than watching her shriek and squirm with excitement when we take her clothes off and carry her to the bathtub.

I bought Violet some sparkly little dress shoes to wear with her cute Easter dress today. We were at this little baby-clothes consignment store in our town, and there was a little boy–about three or four–who was talking to her in their own special language. She was so excited.

So I have this problem. I lose stuff. Not “lose” as in “where are my shoes?” but more like my alter-ego is a kleptomaniac. I have issues with putting things away and not having any idea what I was doing. Case in point: once, I found the head of cabbage that I was going to use for dinner, in the freezer…frozen. Other times, it will be the peanut butter in the fridge, or the mayo in the cupboard. The other day we were missing the honey and I honestly figured the freezer was as good a place to look as any.

So here’s what I don’t understand. Pirates? Really? huh. This is 2009, right? And another thing, why isn’t a US ship off the coast of Somalia armed to the gills? But pirates roving the open seas? Are we devolving or something? If we really are going back to the days of one-eyed peg-legged pirates the good news is that we now have technology on our side. Next time, lets blast those suckers out of the water with a nuclear sub. Not even the parrot will be able to avoid that one.