I have 5 brothers

Say it with me people, Yikes.

The following is a list of injuries they have incurred in the past few years that I know of/remember. This list of course does not include the things they have blown up/wrecked/sunk/etc.

  • broken main wrist bone
  • blown off top of finger with a roman candle
  • black eyes
  • badly cut one finger and nearly lost another with a saw
  • broken collarbones
  • broken nose (i think)
  • debris in eyes
  • head injuries involving the emergency room
  • stitches for cuts
  • multiple injuries of varying degrees requiring emergency care from multiple motorcycle accidents.
  • some minor injuries from car accidents.
  • slamming a head into a dumpster via a longboard and no helmet.
  • (this doesn’t really count, but:) shot someone in the leg.
  • broken foot.
  • multiple fight wounds from multiple fights.
  • burns
  • back problems after  getting sat on by a fat man in a fight.

here’s the worst part: the vast majority of those accidents involved the two oldest boys. Translation: my parents are going to need a frequent flyer discount at the emergency room–it’s only just begun.

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If It Ain’t Broke–Take It From The Baby Real Quick…

Today I took advantage of my sister’s talkativeness, and let her entertain Violet over the phone. She and my brother were trying to remember when everyone was born.

Given, with evident disdain,

“’97? That’s so young!”

Shown, with emphatic indignance,

“No, I’m eleven; that’s not young!”

 

And now, in the Things I Never Thought I’d Say category:

“What a nice kiss the monkey just gave you!”

“…yes, I’ll take Ways to Entertain a Baby for 300 please…”

 

This was overheard while Violet was listening to Auntie Showny on the phone today.

“…and the cow says moo. The pig says oink, oink. The doggy says bark, bark.  The bunny says…uhh…”

 

When a mom and a small child are sharing a public bathroom stall, and all you can hear is a panicked “No! No! No! No!” from the mom, you begin to count the small blessings of being able to go to the bathroom by yourself.

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