To Zumba or Not to Zumba

Ummmm…not.

You see, as much as I wish I could and I wish that I had enough control over my physical coordination, I know better.

Our sportsclub has Zumba classes and they keep telling me to sign up. For those of you who live under a rock and haven’t heard of Zumba yet, it seems to be some sort of latin-dance-work-out-ish-thing. I have no clue–that’s just what they tell me. Fortunately, I know better than to trust myself to follow simple directions involving music and steps. Here’s how bad it is; I can’t even work out to¬† a Denise Austin dvd. That means that I am physically incapable of copying the frenetic movements of a spandex-clad woman who has led the better part of two generations of women in working out in their livingrooms. I get confused just watching her. I wish I wasn’t alone here.

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Lesson for the day

Sometimes life gives you lemons. You’ve probably heard in the past that you should make lemonade with those lemons, or throw them back. How about this one? When life gives you lemons, build a lemonade stand and use the profits of your business to buy a machine gun. Let’s see if life makes the same mistake twice. Anyway, the point is… not really obvious even to me here besides the fact that you can find a bunch of “if life gives you lemons” quotes on the internet.

Here, watch this…you’ll see what I mean.

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I love gullible people.

Today I walked to Safeway with a friend of mine who shall remain nameless due to her highly gullible nature.

We both bought bags of grapes, and she started eating hers as soon as we left the store.

“Don’t eat your grapes, they’re covered in pesticides!”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to wait till we get home–I’ll just rub them off.” She shrugged and began rubbing the grapes between her fingers and her shirt.

“You do know that doesn’t actually get the germs, off, right?”

“Yes it does, if you rub them the heat from the friction kills the germs.”

“Where on earth did you hear that?” I asked.

“This doctor told me and Holly that,” she retorted.

“What kind of a doctor, a quack doctor?”

“No, he’s not a quack doctor, he’s a real doctor, like a doctor doctor.”

Apparently, this doctor told my friend and her friend, that rubbing your hands together real fast kills germs. Aside from the obvious fact that rubbing hands together doesn’t address obvious areas like fingernails and skin creases…heat from friction? Really? He actually told them that this is why you see surgeons rubbing their hands together in movies before they put their gloves on.

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2ish thingamajigs

1. We have some couchsurfers from Baltimore spending the night tonight. Awesome. If I never post on this again, it’s because they killed us in our sleep. Haha.

2. I was out with some girlfriends last night till 2ish, so it’s probably a good thing I didn’t post a blog. Who knows what that might have turned out like. One thing’s for sure; 2am is a lot later than it used to be.

2ish. I think it would be really funny to always use colloquial catch-phrases in the wrong context. Like this:

You see someone run a red light and you exclaim, “Say it, don’t spray it!”

Your friend tells you about their day and you respond by saying, “When in Rome…”

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so.

Quote of the Day:

“If every time I fussed someone stuffed cheese in my mouth, I’d be cranky too!”

Violet loves cheese. she loves it so much that she’ll already be begging for more when she still has her mouth full.

I saw a picture of a rooster today. It reminded me of Dan Quail. Not Dan Quayle, although his amazing hair may or may not have inspired my parents to name our rooster after him.

This isn’t actually a picture of Dan Quail, but it is a picture of Dan Quayle. You see the resemblance? Actually, Quail looked much more like Quayle in real life. You’ll be happy to know, he was an undefeated rooster; he had a giant harem, and he lived to be 95 in chicken years.

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Repeat Offender

Violet pooped in the tub…again. This is officially the third time. It was cute the first time. Actually, it was cute this time too, because she pooped and then saw her poop in the water and got scared of it.

The not cute part? getting her cleaned up so fast and downstairs for the rest of the day so that I forgot to clean the tub. till now. it dried

she pooped

while splashing in the tub

i laughed

and bundled her in a towel

after a dip in the sink

dressed and clean

mom forgot

the poop was still there

suprise!

it dries…

there, a mock haiku.

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