I do have standards, you know…

Here’s one thing I won’t eat: Brussel Sprouts.

I never really remember having to eat brussel sprouts when I was growing up. I know that my mom planted them in the garden one year, but I don’t remember ever actually eating them. I do know that she never grew them after that.

A few years ago I figured out why. AJ and I were in the grocery store trying to think of an interesting vegetable to pair with a steak, (new york strip for those of you who wonder about that sort of thing) and we came across Brussel Sprouts.

“Have you ever had Brussel Sprouts? I haven’t.”

“No, I wonder what they taste like…a cabbage maybe?”

We took a whole bag of those cute tiny cabbages home, steamed them to perfection and served them with butter and seasonings alongside our steak.

First bite: Involuntary gag.

Second bite: dutiful chewing.

Third bite: spat into the napkin.

Here’s what I’ve always wondered since then; is there a scenario where brussel sprouts taste good? All you vegetable-haters can keep your comments to yourselves here–I love vegetables in all shapes and sizes…except small, round, green, and leafy.

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A Story in Pictures: The Life of a Pie

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This is Violet eating some chocolate-peanut butter pie filling. Here is the illustrious recipe for Creme de la Cream Pie.

First: make a crust.

It’s real simple but you need to  obey the rules. (cold butter, don’t touch with hands, don’t add too much water.)

  1. 1 1/4 cups flour.
  2. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  3. 1/3 cup butter (not not not margarine or anything that doesn’t say “butter” on the label)
  4. 4-5 tablespoons cold water.
  5. sugar

Mix flour and salt, cut in butter with two butter knives till the butter pieces are no larger than the size of your pinky nail. sprinkle water over the top and mix gently to form a ball. roll out on countertop using sugar to keep from sticking. roll the crust thin enough to fill the entire pie pan. bake at 350 for 10ish minutes or until lightly browned.

Next, The Pie

  1. 3/4 cups sugar
  2. 1/4 cup cornstarch
  3. 1/4 teaspoon salt
  4. 1 1/2 cups milk
  5. 1 cup whipping cream
  6. 3 egg yolks
  7. 1 tablespoon butter
  8. 2 teaspoons vanilla
  9. 3/4 cup chocolate chips
  10. 2-4 tablespoons of creamy peanut butter.
  11. 3/4 cup coconut lightly toasted
  12. 2 bananas
  13. 1 cup whipped whipping cream. (not coolwhip)

CUSTARD: Mix  dry ingredients in saucepan.  add milk and cream and stir till smooth. cook and stir constantly over medium heat till thick and bubbly. Add a small amount to the three beaten egg yolks and mix together. Pour egg mix to saucepan and stir quickly to mix the eggs in before they cook.  cook for 1-2 more minutes. remove from heat and add vanilla and butter.

ASSEMBLATIONISH: Immediately pour half the custard into another bowl. Pour half cup of toasted coconut into bowl, and 3/4 cup of chocolate chips into the saucepan with remaining custard. stir chocolate mix till melted. add peanut butter to taste. stir coconut mix till combined. Using an electric mixer, split the whipped cream and whip it into each pie filling until creamy and smooth and creamy.

STACKING: When pie crust is completely cool, pour the coconut cream onto the bottom and spread. cut up the bananas and place over the top of the coconut cream mix until you are satisfied with banana to creamy ratio. Next, dump the chocolate peanut butter cream on top of the bananas, and spread.

chill and garnish with coconut and banana slices. BAM!

 

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I never did have a problem with prioritizing…

Don’t judge me just because you’re jealous.

in threeish weeks we are going to the east coast for a couple weeks to bask in culture, history, adventure, and…food. That’s right; you say “DC” and I say, “Amazing selections of ethnic foods!” You say, “Philadelphia” and I say “Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches!” You say “New York” and I say “Cheesecake, Pizza, and hotdogs from a street vendor!” You say, “Boston” and I say “Boston cream pie and Boston baked beans.”

Whew! I get hungry just thinking about it. I have no problem admitting that I dearly love great foods. (Key there being great).

I mentioned earlier this year that we were going to Philly to find out once and for all who was better: Pats or Geno\’s cheese steaks sandwiches. Now we have to add Jim\’s because that’s what the locals have told us. We only have one full day in Philly, so that’s going to mean a lot of cheesesteak in a short amount of time. For those of you who are wondering, it’ll be “wit” please!

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“FREE! 10 Pound Bag of Apples With Every Purchase”

That’s what the sign said. You’re probably thinking I saw it at the grocery store or a feed store or something. Nope, a car dealership. That’s right.

“Hey there sucker! If you buy a car from us, we’ll even throw in seven or eight dollars worth of apples.”

I bet they were red delicious too. I totally love apples, but I draw the line at red delicious. Maybe if I had an organic one straight from a tree I wouldn’t mind it, but in general i don’t classify them in the apple family; I classify them in the “gross” family.

The best part about having two of my siblings staying over for the week is their eating habits. 1: they aren’t picky at all. 2. it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to get rave reviews at the dinner table.

that sounded really bad. of course there are other wonderful things about them staying over for the week. like all the free babysitting.

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This is why you’re fat

It’s actually the name of a website. We visit it often. Here it is. Before you progress any further into this post, please click on the “here” link so you can get an idea of where I’m coming from.

AJ desperately wants to get something to submit to this website. I told him that if he came up with something I would make it. My mistake. Here, is his idea.

  1. First, you take 2 slices of chocolate chip banana bread
  2. then, you smear one side with marshmallow cream and the other side with Nutella
  3. Then, you sandwich these together with banana slices in the middle.
  4. After which, you dunk the whole thing in yellow cake mix batter.
  5. Next, deep fry the sandwich, taking care to keep it together.
  6. When it cools, dip the whole thing in melted milk chocolate,
  7. and roll it in toasted almonds and coconut.
  8. serve with whip cream and a cherry on top.
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Say Wha?

Yes, I actually meant to type “wha” instead of “what”. It’s for dramatic effect. That however, is probably not the reason a local home daycare posted the following sign out by the side of a busy street.

“BLOOMING YOUGSTERS”

Try as I might, I can see no dramatic effect achieved by eliminating the “N” in “youngsters”. The best part? Someone obviously spent a lot of time and energy making this sign. Seriously, there was a lot of work put into this sign. Sadly, real life doesn’t have a spell-check button.

As I told my sister earlier, sometimes when you’re an adult and you go into the kitchen to make something for dinner and you have hardly anything to choose from, you end up making some pretty weird stuff. Case in point: tonight’s dinner was “Porcupine Hash”. Yes, I just made that name up. Yes, I know it’s brilliant, and yes, it is already copyrighted.

Here’s what I did. (When you have a $150 food budget for the month and you don’t use food banks or anything else, you get creative).

1 can tomato soup

1/2 jar leftover spaghetti sauce

3 cups cooked brown rice (short grain)

about the same amount of raw hamburger meat

a little water to rinse the leftover pasta sauce into the casserole dish

4 or 5 carrots, diced and peeled (but not in that order)

1 can of white great northern beans

Dump everything except the hamburger meat into a casserole dish and mix together. season to taste with salt, pepper, chipotle seasoning, seasoning salts, etc. add hamburger and mix well. cover with foil and bake at 350 for at least an hour.

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