I do have standards, you know…

Here’s one thing I won’t eat: Brussel Sprouts.

I never really remember having to eat brussel sprouts when I was growing up. I know that my mom planted them in the garden one year, but I don’t remember ever actually eating them. I do know that she never grew them after that.

A few years ago I figured out why. AJ and I were in the grocery store trying to think of an interesting vegetable to pair with a steak, (new york strip for those of you who wonder about that sort of thing) and we came across Brussel Sprouts.

“Have you ever had Brussel Sprouts? I haven’t.”

“No, I wonder what they taste like…a cabbage maybe?”

We took a whole bag of those cute tiny cabbages home, steamed them to perfection and served them with butter and seasonings alongside our steak.

First bite: Involuntary gag.

Second bite: dutiful chewing.

Third bite: spat into the napkin.

Here’s what I’ve always wondered since then; is there a scenario where brussel sprouts taste good? All you vegetable-haters can keep your comments to yourselves here–I love vegetables in all shapes and sizes…except small, round, green, and leafy.

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Say Wha?

Yes, I actually meant to type “wha” instead of “what”. It’s for dramatic effect. That however, is probably not the reason a local home daycare posted the following sign out by the side of a busy street.

“BLOOMING YOUGSTERS”

Try as I might, I can see no dramatic effect achieved by eliminating the “N” in “youngsters”. The best part? Someone obviously spent a lot of time and energy making this sign. Seriously, there was a lot of work put into this sign. Sadly, real life doesn’t have a spell-check button.

As I told my sister earlier, sometimes when you’re an adult and you go into the kitchen to make something for dinner and you have hardly anything to choose from, you end up making some pretty weird stuff. Case in point: tonight’s dinner was “Porcupine Hash”. Yes, I just made that name up. Yes, I know it’s brilliant, and yes, it is already copyrighted.

Here’s what I did. (When you have a $150 food budget for the month and you don’t use food banks or anything else, you get creative).

1 can tomato soup

1/2 jar leftover spaghetti sauce

3 cups cooked brown rice (short grain)

about the same amount of raw hamburger meat

a little water to rinse the leftover pasta sauce into the casserole dish

4 or 5 carrots, diced and peeled (but not in that order)

1 can of white great northern beans

Dump everything except the hamburger meat into a casserole dish and mix together. season to taste with salt, pepper, chipotle seasoning, seasoning salts, etc. add hamburger and mix well. cover with foil and bake at 350 for at least an hour.

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bread and the mystery thereof

This is for Amanda.

The recipe for the pizza crust was pretty basic. I’m almost pretty sure I remember it. I could go downstairs and get the recipe book, but….i’m upstairs, and i’m tired, and a little lazy, so.

Mix in a ceramic or glass bowl. Never metal. don’t ask me why.

1 package yeast

2 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup white flour

1 teaspoon salt

1/2ish cup of sugar (not too sure)

1/4 ish cup of oil. I use olive oil for a nice flavor. wheat flour has a ton of flavor, but if you decide to use all white flour then definitely use olive oil

boil water

pour 1/2 cup milk into a 1 cup measuring cup

top it off with hot water, so that the mixture equals 1 full cup and is very warm (not hot)

mix everything together with care to avoid tearing those delicate strands of gluten that are just going nuts right now.

knead for five minutesish (add more white/wheat flour if the dough is so sticky that you can’t knead it, I prefer white for kneading)

let rise in a warm place for an hour

punch down and form into pizza dough or rolls, or cinnamon rolls, or sticky buns, or a loaf, or cinnamon raisin bread, or something else delicious.

2 Things That May Or May Not Matter To You At All.

1. when using wheat flour as a substitute in a recipe, use approximately 3/4 cup instead of a whole cup. As i did with this recipe, you can vary the percentages of wheat/white flour to suit your taste. Wheat flour is typically heavier and requires a bit more care in bread making, but the flavor is worth it. I like to add a little white flour to make the bread turn out nicer without fully sacrificing the value of whole grain and flavor.

2. for grilled pizza crusts, the dough needs to be incredibly dripping in oil (olive if you have it). take a cookie sheet, put about 2 tablespoons of olive oil on the bottom and begin the process of rolling/hand-stretching it out. you can roll it only so much because the dough just slides around the cookie sheet. be gentle so you don’t tear the dough. grill on a medium hot grill with the oilier side down for a few minutes until it looks golden brown with nice grill marks on the bottom. flip it using tongs and an oven mitt, but first oil the second side so it won’t stick. as soon as it flips, put all your ingredients on.

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not my problem

Violet just discovered that AJ has armpit hair and is very intent on investigating further.

here’s what I had for dinner…because you care.

1 slice wheat bread

1 slice potato bread

mayo (not…never miracle whip)

mustard

mashed avocado

tomato slices

lettuce

roast beef

bacon

salami

havarti

red onion

…compile….key word being pile.

there is no bad combination of quality meats, cheeses and vegetables on a sandwich.

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I hate spiders

pretty much

so, yeah….

we spent the afternoon and evening working on our patio/buying supplies for said patio, so we had a marinara chicken sandwich for dinner. Easy squeezy.

  1. cook breaded chicken tenders in oven till crispy.
  2. slice white cheddar or mozzarella onto a hamburger bun
  3. place chicken on hot bun.
  4. cover with hot marinara or spaghetti sauce.
  5. cover with top bun.
  6. eat

I know, it’s basically like eating fast food at home except they don’t pee in the pickles. 

Illegal Things I Did Today:

  • forged a signature
  • drove over the speed limit
  • used a cell phone while driving
  • ate while driving
  • dumped my extra patio dirt in the back of the park in outside my fence. when I say “dumped” i mean, “had AJ dump”

That’s me…livin’ on the edge, outta control!

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