Poor Pitiful Me

So I went to the dentist again today. Halfway through the procedure, I was thinking about how pathetic I felt and how pitiful I must look. Poor me, right? I was just thinking that I hoped the dentist thought I looked pitiful too, but if he did, he wasn’t showing any sign of it. And then I thought, “Wait, why would he feel sorry for me? This is all my own fault!” So I sat in the chair feeling extra sorry for myself to make up for the dentist’s lack of concern.


Dentists, Lie Detectors and Liars

Top question asked by Dentists:

“How often do you floss?”

What? Seriously? Why even ask that question? Because damned if I do and damned if i don’t tell the truth–they already know the answer! I was sitting in the dentists’ chair this afternoon while he probed my gums to check for gum disease just waiting for the inevitable question.

Him: “You floss much?”

Me: “Yash! Awmosh evey ‘ay” (his fingers were in my mouth).

Not that I can blame Dentists. Its a surefire way to check and see if your patient is a liar. If more people realized this, I’m sure dental appointments on video conference would be mandated by hiring managers.

“Good work history…check. Strong people skills…check. Excellent references…check. Not a liar…check.”