Repeat Offender

Violet pooped in the tub…again. This is officially the third time. It was cute the first time. Actually, it was cute this time too, because she pooped and then saw her poop in the water and got scared of it.

The not cute part? getting her cleaned up so fast and downstairs for the rest of the day so that I forgot to clean the tub. till now. it dried

she pooped

while splashing in the tub

i laughed

and bundled her in a towel

after a dip in the sink

dressed and clean

mom forgot

the poop was still there

suprise!

it dries…

there, a mock haiku.

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Seattle Cheese Festival or Bust

key word being “bust”.

I’ve been in some serious crowds before. This, was a serious crowd. (by serious, i mean huge and humongous, not sober and austere). After taking the wrong bus and getting dropped off close enough to Pikes Place to end up walking waaaaaay longer than we intended, we were greeted by a Pikes Place that was literally bursting at it’s colorful grunge seams. There were way too many people…all the little shops on the sides of the market had huge lines out the doors that were multiple people deep, so after our long walk we couldn’t even get anything to drink. There was a giant wine tasting tent that I was planning on visiting, but one look inside at the packed, sweaty people sipping warm wine out of plastic cups while getting crammed in tighter by the back of the line was enough for me. The worst part? dozens and dozens (and dozens) of artisan cheese vendors, and we only got two samples. TWO. Please understand, this is no reflection of my ability to get samples/deep appreciation for the art of cheese. There were just that many people there.

The greatest part of my day was sitting in a coffee shop–blocks away–and drinking a berry smoothie with AJ and Violet. I’d take a sip, he’d take a sip, and then we’d give it to Violet. We were using a straw and now that she has top and bottom teeth, she figured out that (a) we kept taking her drink away, and (b) if she bit down on the straw she could keep it a little longer.

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Hey Diddle Diddle…

Violet’s 4th word EVER, is (wait for it…) “Kitty”.

How totally cute is that? For those of you keeping track (alright, just me) the first word was Mama, the second was Dada,  the third, No! which brings us to the fourth being Kitty. There was a neighbor cat on our patio this afternoon, so Violet and I went out and sat on the step to see if he wanted to play. He did, and while he was rolling around at our feet and purring Violet kept saying Ki! Ki! Finally, when he went to the other side of the patio, she copied me and called out Kitty!” The best part was the look on her face when he came back. All these little firsts are so much fun to be a part of. Yesterday while we were on a walk, AJ and I taught Violet how to blow on her first dandelion seed head ever. Today, she poked the eyes on her first snail ever (you know how they creep out like long tentacles and jump back when you touch them? Apparently this is very interesting to babies).

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Funny Story

Ok, so here’s the deal.

Several times a week, we walk by a house with a beautiful golden retriever who always comes to the fence to see us as we walk by. If I was the thieving type, I’d steal this dog. Today when we walked by, he wasn’t there and when a couple blocks later, we saw him running loose we knew just where to take him. AJ called the number on his collar and he dragged us (he was super strong and not walk-trained) back down the street toward his house while Violet cried because she was being ignored by the dog and Mom. It wasn’t until we arrived at his house a couple blocks away and knocked at the door that the phone number on his collar called and informed us they were on their way to meet us and that we were at the wrong house.  His owner arrived to get him, and we began to retrace our steps as we resumed our walk home. It wasn’t until we saw the car pull into the drive way that we figured it out. We had rescued the run-away dog when he had been sniffing around the yard of the house across the street from his. Needless to say we ducked down a side street to avoid talking to them as they got out of their car.

In other news, Violet started clapping today! Yay! It’s so freaking cute. Other not so cute things: opening and closing the CD-ROM drive on the computer any chance she gets, hitting the computer power button enough times so that it shuts off right when I’m in the middle of something, and last but not least…bending the radio antenna until it broke off. Michael Medved, I shall miss you.

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mental pictures

Here’s a couple snapshots into my day.

5:06 pm: setting Violet down on the floor with an entire muffin to devour just to distract her long enough to make potato salad. Turns out, I can’t make salad in 2 minutes.

5:09 pm: chopping celery for potato salad while Violet fully crawls into the back of the tupperware cupboard. This is only made possible by first throwing tupperware and dishtowels all over the kitchen.

5:12 pm: Singing made-up songs to Violet about what a nice, patient baby she is. Someday my propaganda will pay off.

5:17 pm: mixing the sour cream and mayo into my potato salad while holding Violet in the other hand.

5:18 pm: saying “No! No! No!” and blowing in Violet’s face to stop her from fully digging her hand into the jar of mayo as I attempt to spoon some onto the salad. All I want for Christmas is another arm.

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Baby’s First Roly-Poly

or rolli-polli, or rolie-polie, or…whatever. I figure its a pretty non-technical name, so you don’t have to worry about getting it exact. It’s part of the fun of the english language really.

We were playing in the grass when I found one and then I held it for her and let it crawl up her arm. All she wanted to do was pinch it in her two fat little fingers, so finally we threw it across the yard.

Fun Fact: Violet has figured out how to open and close the CD drive on our desktop. Not cool. Initially she played with it because of the little green light, but now she knows that if she hits that button the tray opens. How very exciting. Also, sometimes I’ll be in the middle of something on my computer and she’ll turn off the power by hitting the power button one too many times.

Anyway, she’s upstairs sleeping right now..which is my cue to follow suit.

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Hats Off!

Dear Auntie Showny,

Thank you for entertaining my daughter via “phone sitting” today so I could finish painting the downstairs. I know she’s too little to ever say anything back to you, but I can assure you that she was listening intently the whole time. I was too actually. I could hear you across the room because you were on speakerphone, and as time wore on I began to be progressively more and more amazed at your ability to talk to yourself for so long and have so much to talk about. You told stories, you read books, you sang songs about princesses and flowers (Violet played along on the piano). My personal favorite was the part where you gave her a science lesson, because “…science is your favorite subject.” Who knew that clouds actually weighed like 90 tons, or that cutting an earthworm in half made two worms? Certainly not my daughter. The most impressive part of this whole episode of “Phone Adventures with Auntie Showny” is that you never halted in your speech, but just kept constantly talking while flitting from one subject to the next…for 1 hour, 2 minutes, and 14 seconds. Wow.

Anyway, thanks for being so interesting–my downstairs looks great!

Love, your sister and little your niece.

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Ewwwww….

Ok, so here’s a horrific little story to help you sleep tonight: today, a friend of mine pulled the foot of a dead rat out of the mouth of her infant daughter.

Anyway, so here’s my great new idea. You remember those write-your-own-adventure books, where you could choose at different parts in the story what the character would do? “Does Ralphy; (a): remove the mask to reveal his true identity? or (b): slay the princess for making such an audacious request? If you picked (a), please turn to page 127. If you picked (b), please turn to page 135.”

So imagine that in a movie…like a romantic comedy. This, is the future of television. Drawbacks: no theater showings. Advantages: being able to watch a normal movie and make it just the way you want it. It would border on video game territory, because at different parts in the story it would stop and allow you to follow the on-screen options. I’ve decided not to copyright this idea because I prefer to watch someone find it and  make a ton of money, so that someday I can tell my kids, “That was my idea to begin with!” Because, how satisfying does that sound?

Still thinking about that rat foot, aren’t you? Sicko. Ok, for the record, this was not my child–I am not covering for myself. So my friend has a cat that loves to catch gifts of rats and mice and leave them dead at the door step. (see, it can’t be me–I don’t have a cat.) Apparently at some point today, said baby managed to find a piece of said rat and put it in her mouth before her horrified mother could find it and pull it out. There, you satisfied?

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random

Violet has a booster seat/highchair now, so she sits at the table with us during dinner. I made her some spinach/banana/rice cereal stuff.  Tonight we all held hands and prayed before the meal; AJ’s big hands, Violet’s tiny chubby hands, and my medium-sized hands. The first of many.

I bought paint today. So excited. The guest bathroom is going to be blueishy, Violets room is going to be winnie-the-poo-y, the hallways are going to be creamy goldish, and the master bath is going to be a lighter green version of our bedroom walls. Now I am looking for some glass tile pieces to glue to the mirrors for a faux frame.

Violet stayed in the nursery the whole time we were at MOPS today (Yay). Thats because I told them not to try changing her diaper and also there were new toys. When I came to get her, several of the babies were crying but she was just sitting there…playing with her new toy and watching them.

side note: is it wrong that it totally makes my day to see people I know driving crappy cars too?

FYI: be on the lookout–we are trying to think up an outrageous story to email Dave Ramsey so he’ll read it on the air. any ideas? (am 630, 4-7pm)

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ten random notes of randomness

1. If I were a fruit, I would be an apple. Fuji maybe…Braeburn, Cameo. In a completely unrelated note, the smell of an especially juicy apple just after you’ve taken a bite reminds me of horse breath. Not in a bad way though.

2. Something You Should Never Do: don’t own a chimp, or any other potentially dangerous exotic animal. How is this not a no-brainer for more people?

3. I am always running late, so sometimes I do my makeup in the car (not while driving). I’ve always thought that it would be horrible to get in an accident while I was curling my eyelashes because I would probably pull my eyelids off.

4. Left to their own devices, my feet might be hairier than my husbands. Don’t get grossed out yet–his feet are basically bald…and mine aren’t.

5. I read about a product the other day; it was an alarm clock that had a vibrating attachment you could put under your bed to shake you awake. It was my idea first. Once when I was 9, I was trying to get up early to make my mom a  Mother’s Day breakfast. Dilemma: must use an alarm to get up that early, but musn’t wake anyone. Solution: take the wind-up bell alarm clock and place it against my left ear. Wrap clock to head with a hand towel. I didn’t anticipate waking with a near heart-attack while trying to rip the towel off my head to stop the loud ringing in my ears. Anyway, that vibrating alarm could have saved me some grief.

6. Me+Laser Hair Removal=someday.

7. I can hear people gulp when they swallow. It’s gross.

8. When I’m out running, I make a point to never stop running in sight of the person who may have seen me start running. That way, no one knows how much of a wimp I am.

9. How is it the 21st century, and people are still having babies much the same way they always have?

10. I always told myself I would never let my children eat in the car. Now I jump at the chance to placate Violet by putting cheerios on her lap when she’s in the carseat.

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Playdate

Today was Violet’s first official playdate. And so it starts.  I feel like such a “soccer mom” saying that. Truthfully, playdates at this age are little more than a chance for the moms to have someone else entertain their baby for once. Violet and Isla seemed more interested in what they could do to each other than with each other. Instead of playing together, they examine the facets of the other baby; how easy they are to climb on, what the inside of their mouth looks  like, and what their clothes taste like.  Seriously, they were more interested in each other from a functional standpoint (“…if I crawl over her, I can get to that toy easier”) than from a relational standpoint. Violet gets more interested in a cat than another baby at this point.

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Babies are Great

Violet just pooped in the tub…for the second time in just a few weeks. oi.

Taking baths is great when you’re a baby. I remember using the bath like a slip-n-slide; now I can only lie with my knees bent. The not-so-fun part I remember was watching the bathtub drain if I was still in it. I’d seen what happened to the stuff in the toilet when it flushed–why would I want to sit inside a giant flushing tub?

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I need these on Post It notes…

  1. I’m thankful I get to drink filtered water every day.
  2. I’m thankful my daughter is healthy.
  3. I’m thankful we live in a nice house–better than the majority of the world.
  4. I’m thankful we have so many good friends and family.
  5. I’m thankful my husband loves me.
  6. I’m thankful for accessible healthcare.
  7. I’m thankful for our car.
  8. I’m thankful that I get to be a stay-at-home mom.
  9. I’m thankful that both my parents and in-laws are still married.
  10. I’m thankful for second chances.

Some days I get too caught up in looking over at the neighbors’ grass, or wondering about that new house the “Jones’s” bought. Thanksgiving is really more a constant battle than an annual holiday for me. Today was one of those days where I kept finding myself frustrated by all my “have-nots’ until I got an envelope in the mail from World Vision. On the back of the envelope it said: “3,800 children die every day from water-related illnesses.” Reality check.

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Soapbox Moment

You know those little Valentines conversation hearts? How did they ever get to be so lame? Case in point: “U R Mine”, “You Rule”, or “Email Me.” I even saw some like “Forget It” or “No Way!”

Dear Maker of Valentines Day Conversation Hearts,

Why are you so afraid of becoming irrelevant, that you insist on using “trendy” phrases that are no longer in circulation? Seriously, no one says “You Rock” anymore. They just don’t, and even if they do, its kind of tongue-in-cheek. Okay, so maybe they say it occasionally, but that gives you no excuse to try writing it on a candy heart just because it fits.

 

oi. Yes, I know Valentines Day is like 2 weeks ago, but thats just about the time I buy holiday candy.

Interesting Fact: If you come to my house and you eat an Oreo for dessert and then drop some on the floor–the baby will find it. And she will thoroughly eat every last crumb she can find. Whats the point of vacuuming?

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I probably should have stopped her…

but she was having so much fun!

Today Violet ate a piece of tulle–otherwise known as the kind of fabric used in wedding veils. It was a smallish piece that she stuffed in her mouth before I could catch her, and she had quite a time swallowing it but I was pretty sure she couldn’t choke on it and there was nothing I could do once she had it down her throat anyway, so I just sat there and watched my seven-month old daughter make the faces a cat does when it’s hacking up a hairball. Fun!

Today: we stayed inside all day (not fun) waiting for the UPS that never showed up. she took a nap in her crib after getting up with me at 5am. I assembled three wedding veils for my sister-in-law’s wedding. we played “Pat-a-Cake”. when AJ got home from work, we had brown rice stirfry with carrots, celery, onions and scrambled egg. next, Violet is taking a bath–and she’ll know it as soon as I take all her clothes off in the bathroom. She gets SO (so) excited. After that, she goes to her own bed (please) and AJ and I will read Perelandra by the venerable Lewis.

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I think the tooth fairy skipped our house…

Violet still has no teeth. nada.

New Rule (for everyone): Just Because the Carpool Lane is Not the Other Other Fast Lane, Doesn’t Mean it’s the Other Other Slow Lane.  I’m just saying.

You ever think up new things and wish you could make your ideas a reality? Like flying cars, for instance. Mine? Fart Bells. Thats right, Fart Bells. I have this theory that if everyone knew how much everyone around them in public farted, people might fart less in public. or something like that. Here’s how it would work: A bell over the intercom or on the wall that goes off anytime anyone in the room farts. People could maintain their anonymity, but we’d all know that someone had just farted. seriously, if you’d been at my family’s house tonight–that bell would have been ringing off the hook!

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Today was the first sunny saturday in way too long…

because there’s a reason Washington stays so green.

Five interesting things about today.

1. Violet hollered with a hot temper when strapped in the car-seat. thats right, she hollered.

2. I watched the cat sit patiently in front of her while she shook with excitement and patted him on the head.

3. AJ bought more vw bug stuff. yes, more.

4. I learned a great secret about something i can’t say.

5. someone that i can’t name, did something that i can’t tell you, for someone that you don’t know.

keeping secrets is my cross to bear, my everest. I love them, but oh they eat away at my very spirit.

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Snapshot into my day

Time: 1:30pm

Place: My kitchen

Me: in the middle of making pie crust for my blackberry pie and my peach banana pie. still wearing pj’s.

The counter-tops: covered in mess from pie crust, and melting bags of last summer’s fruit.

Violet: sitting at my feet waiting patiently between spoon-fulls of melting blackberry bits as a bribery so I can bake.

 

Side note: this happened right before she discovered that the walls in the kitchen could open to vast chambers containing an amazing new toy apparently called “Tupperware”.

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Fine Dining

Tonight we went here for dinner. We normally don’t spend this much for dinner, and so in order to fully enjoy our dining experience, we may possibly have introduced a ton of new foods to Violet to keep her happy.

This is a baby who has only previously eaten a couple fruits, some veggies, rice, and oats.

Bread

Couscous

Kiwi

Mango

Green Beans

Strawberry.

Yes, that might make me a terrible parent.

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My child might grow up to be a bully

Yes, its true.

Here’s how it started.  Violet doesn’t have a whole lot of contact with babies in general. A couple of weeks ago though, a friend of mine broke her back so we’ve been spending a day a week with her to help her with her one-year old son. He’s big for his age–and all boy, and Violet is small for her age, and definitely all girl. He’s very nice to her, but its taken her several times to get comfortable around this gentle giant that takes her toys and sits on her. That being said, we had some friends over tonight with a baby girl Violet’s age. Isla is a little bigger than Violet, but Violet is more mobile, and no sooner were the two of them on the ground together then she was crawling all over poor Isla. I looked over and Violet was literally on top of Isla. She looked pretty happy.

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