Don’t try and fool me!

Dear New England Aquarium in Boston,

Please do not advertise that you have a North Atlantic Right Whale in your exhibit. With sizes around 55 feet long and nearly 80 tons, I was very excited. I was especially interested to watch you feed it zooplankton, because I’ve always wanted to see that up close. Needless to say, the tank would have had to have been huge, but that’s also another thing I was looking forward to. Anyway, it is very misleading to list it on your website next to the Moon Jelly and the Green Sea Turtle, because that makes it seem like you actually have it.  I’ll be blunt here, saying that you have a whale on exhibit, when you really mean you have whale watching tours in the nearby harbor is devious trickery of the basest sort.

I will be taking my business elsewhere, thank you very much!

Sincerely, Leg-pulled in washington


Dear Leg-pulled,

It appears you didn’t actually read about our aquarium very much, because you would have found that everythingis actually found in it’s indigenous environment in the ocean. We have glass-bottom boats, where guests can cram together on the floor to see if a stray fish swims by (we’ve been inundated with illegal fishing as of late) or to see if they can see the coral grow. In addition to the whale watching tours, we also have a submarine that we submerge into the harbor. We’ve been baiting it with raw tuna to attract predators, and although we’ve only been seeing errant sea lions every once in a while, we do hope to see a wide range of sea life including, a Lion fish, the American Lobster, a Cownose Ray, the Giant Pacific Octopus, and an Atlantic Harbor Seal. This is the kind of excitement that can last you a lifetime.

Please reconsider your visit, we hope to see you soon,

-The New England Aquarium





So this afternoon, I was at the kitchen sink washing dishes when Violet came up behind me. She tilted her head methodically and bit me on the back of my thigh.