1. If I were a fruit, I would be an apple. Fuji maybe…Braeburn, Cameo. In a completely unrelated note, the smell of an especially juicy apple just after you’ve taken a bite reminds me of horse breath. Not in a bad way though.
2. Something You Should Never Do: don’t own a chimp, or any other potentially dangerous exotic animal. How is this not a no-brainer for more people?
3. I am always running late, so sometimes I do my makeup in the car (not while driving). I’ve always thought that it would be horrible to get in an accident while I was curling my eyelashes because I would probably pull my eyelids off.
4. Left to their own devices, my feet might be hairier than my husbands. Don’t get grossed out yet–his feet are basically bald…and mine aren’t.
5. I read about a product the other day; it was an alarm clock that had a vibrating attachment you could put under your bed to shake you awake. It was my idea first. Once when I was 9, I was trying to get up early to make my mom a Mother’s Day breakfast. Dilemma: must use an alarm to get up that early, but musn’t wake anyone. Solution: take the wind-up bell alarm clock and place it against my left ear. Wrap clock to head with a hand towel. I didn’t anticipate waking with a near heart-attack while trying to rip the towel off my head to stop the loud ringing in my ears. Anyway, that vibrating alarm could have saved me some grief.
6. Me+Laser Hair Removal=someday.
7. I can hear people gulp when they swallow. It’s gross.
8. When I’m out running, I make a point to never stop running in sight of the person who may have seen me start running. That way, no one knows how much of a wimp I am.
9. How is it the 21st century, and people are still having babies much the same way they always have?
10. I always told myself I would never let my children eat in the car. Now I jump at the chance to placate Violet by putting cheerios on her lap when she’s in the carseat.