The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who left home to seek their fortunes.

Since they were siblings and fought like cats anyways, they all decided to live in their own houses. The first little pig built a house of straw.

She found it to be quite to her liking since she was going for a modern minimalistic look. However, she didn’t count on The Big Bad Wolf.

He wasn’t all bad; he liked long walk on the beach, country music, hugs (obviously) and anything with barbecue sauce. By anything, i mean little chickens pigs.

The little pig watched and terror as the wolf approached her “door”.

“Little Pig, Little Pig, Let me come in!”

“Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!”

The Wolf, who was used to getting his way, became very angry and shouted at the tippy top of his voice,

“THEN I’LL HUFF! AND I’LL PUFF! AND I’LL BLOOOOOOOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!”

And that is exactly what he did. The first little pig ran as fast as she could to her sister’s house. Now the second little pig had built a house of sticks. It was boring though, so she moved next door into the flower pot.

The two little pigs huddled close together, hoping to disguise themselves as rocks. However, the wolf who was close behind wasn’t fooled.

“Little Pigs, Little Pigs, let down a ladder because I am very bad at climbing!”

The little pigs weren’t buying this. After all, the Big Bad Wolf had the muscle definition of someone who lives off of protein drinks and climbs for fun when bored.

“Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!!”

At this, the wolf was furious. Although he did subsist on mainly lean proteins and worked out all the time to catch said lean protein, he was bad at climbing because of an old football injury. However, he wasn’t bad at huffing and puffing.

“Well then I’ll HUFF! and I’ll PUFF! AND I’LL BLOOOOOOOOW YOUR FLOWER POT DOWN!”

And that’s exactly what he did. He blew so hard that when he was done there was nothing left but some dirt and shredded grass. As he stood surveying the ruins, working on his best evil villain laugh, he was honestly a little disappointed the two little pigs had gotten away.

The two little pigs ran as fast as they could to their brother’s house. Being the smart one in the bunch, he had decided to live as an illegal squatter in a little girl’s playhouse instead of building a house without hands or power tools. The three little pigs huddled inside after locking the door with a very large plastic key that took all three of them to turn it.

“LITTLE PIGS! OPEN THE DOOOOOR!!!”

By this time, the wolf was getting cranky since now he had missed nap time and lunch.

“Uhhh…not by the hair of our chinny chin–NO! WE WILL NOT OPEN THE DOOR!!”

The three little pigs were also getting cranky, but that was mostly from trying not to get eaten.

“THEN I’LL HUFF!¬†AND I’LL PUFF! AND I’LL BLOOOOOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!

So he huffed.

And he puffed.

And he huffed.

But nothing…

The playhouse was as solid as ever.

At this the wolf was so embarrassed that he left forever.

The three little pigs were okay with that and they decided to live together and play games instead of fighting like cats. Here they are playing tag.

This is during a rather intense game of sardines.

Anyway, the point is: they lived happily ever after.

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