best money spent

today I bought a bubble machine for $6.49. You push a button, and it blows out bubbles. Like magic. I KNOW.

I would like to go on record and say that a bubble machine may be the greatest child entertainer i’ve found all summer, which is saying a lot since they seem to want to spend hours fighting over toys, swapping said toys and then fighting again. Even this favorite pastime was forsaken in favor of running around the yard and shrieking in glee over translucent globes that filled our yard and floated gently into the neighborhood like beacons of childhood laughter.

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Blogging by way of Facebook status updates

Here are a few of my status updates on Facebook lately.

i have had the worst songs stuck in my head lately. Monday: “I saw Momma kissing Santa” Tuesday: “Santa Baby” Today: “The hills are alive….with the sound of music….la lalala….”

Seriously. It would be a little better if it was december or something. I was fully catching myself mid-verse belting out “I….saw Momma kissin’ Saaanta Claus, un-der-neath the $%*(&#w)($*&)(*&#$!!!!!”

I was relieved to see that Violet has refrained from picking the pretty little flowers on the tomato plants until Henry discovered today that they have little balls on them. balls = toys.

When I was growing up, I loved fried green tomatoes and I’ve always wanted to make a green tomato pie, so since I am growing some tomatoes this summer (Thanks Eileen!) I was fully planning on picking a bunch green. You can buy red tomatoes any day of the week, but green? However, I was kind of hoping to pick them at larger than a pingpong ball size. Thank you Henry. I now have a collection of tiny tomatoes on my counter.

just pulled a dead fly out of the boy’s mouth. then i screamed.

True story. I was in a foul mood to begin with since my teeth and the gaping hole in my jaw are still bugging me. We were climbing the stairs and I noticed a dead fly in one of the corners. The next thing I knew, the fly was gone and Henry was chewing something with a “Hmmm…” expression on his face. I was okay getting the fly out, but when I swiped his mouth with my shirt and it came back with a tiny fly leg, I fully looked up at the ceiling and screamed.

went to the wrong kind of espresso stand today. when i realized my mistake i told the girl i was new in town and needed directions to the library.

I have seriously been dreading that I would make this mistake for years. In Washington, we have espresso stands where the baristas wear bikinis or less. I have no idea why these are legal, especially since you can’t tell if they’re a bikini espresso stand all the time. Sometimes the stand has a sign that says so, but most of the time you can guess by the innuendos in the name on the stand or the giant picture windows. Needless to say, I didn’t buy a coffee.

went to the zoo with a little girl who wore her brother’s stripped pj pants and a too small cardigan because she got car sick on the way down. awesome.

Of course. Of course the girl gets car sick two minutes from the zoo with no clothes to change into. Of course. The pants were in the car of a friend who was coming too, but they were woefully short and everything was very mismatched.

Last but not least, Violet entered a drawing in the local fair this year. She won a blue ribbon and a special merit ribbon. Adorable.

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brace face

i just scored a billion in nerd points. not only do i now have braces, but i also had one of my front teeth pulled. unfortunately, since nerd points are practically worthless in the economy of a mom with two kids….it looks like i’m stuck with a bunch of worthless nerd points.
I want a t-shirt.
I JUST SCORED A BILLION NERD POINTS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT

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misnomer

Yesterday the field behind my house was mowed by a tractor. My children stood on the steps watching in rapt attention. The grass had been growing all summer long and now towered over their heads in endless waves of a grassy tide. There are a few cats that hunt out in that field every evening, so I could only imagine what a “hay” day they would have once all the tall grass was gone. Sure enough, last night the four of us watched them casually stroll through the field that had become a buffet line of mice nests.

“What are the cats doing Mom?”

“They’re hunting.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re hungry.”

“Why?”

“Because they like to eat.”

“What are ‘dey eating?”

“Mice.”

“No, (with a chuckle) cat’s don’t eat mice, ‘dey eat catfood!”

 

 

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