Newsflash

You’ll never guess what just happened.

Okay, nothing. nothing happened, and now I have nothing to blog about. That’s not really true of course. Lots and lots of interesting things have happened.

1. Violet apparently inherited her father’s seasonal allergies. Sheesh!

3. Henry got his second haircut and screamed like he was dying so we stopped before we finished. you can’t really tell.

4. Violet got her bangs cut again and cried that it hurt with each snip. Um…

5. This baby was finally born. Okay, like three weeks ago.

Her name is Lilian. Not to be confused with Lionel, or Leon, or any other boyish sort of name. That’s because she’s a girl. A very cute one at that. Apparently ultrasounds aren’t always right. Violet is very excited to have another girl cousin.

6. Henry is upstairs screaming right now. He’s not a fan of bedtime. I don’t want to talk about it.

7. Did I miss two? I think I missed number 2. It’s all the screaming upstairs.

8. Somewhere in here Henry stopped crawling. Forever. No more crawling. I am totally okay with that.

9. I started working out again this morning. Not as fun as I remember it. All I can say about working out is that I really want AJ to buy me this:

This is none other than the ROM “Four Minute Workout” machine. Someone go buy one for $15 grand and get back to me. To order, go to http://www.fastexercise.com. Thanks.

10. If I don’t blog again soon it’s not you, it’s me. I’ll probably be too busy on my Mediterranean cruise relaxing. Wait, I mean washing my dishes because the dishwasher in this rental should be sent back to the manufacturer with a load of dishes inside.

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In which you get an update and I get hit on the head

So, we moved. Moving is a really great experience. It really shows you how much stuff you have that you didn’t know about. It also shows you that you need to get rid of stuff much more often than you thought. Such a great experience. There’s nothing quite like standing in the middle of a UHAUL at midnight wondering what on earth could possibly be in the second half of the second 17-foot truck that could at all be worth the time and energy you’re putting into moving it from one place to another. So anyway, yay for moving.

That being said, we love that we moved just in time for the summer rainy season, not to be confused with the winter, fall, or spring rainy season. It doesn’t matter how wet it gets, my children are seriously in love with their new yard. This of course includes all the recently acquired child/yard paraphernalia that people give you/you buy as soon as you have a place to put it. As you can see, we didn’t really learn our too-much-stuff lesson in this recent move.

See?

All of these things have been acquired in the last week and a half. No joke. See that giant umbrella? It’s awesome when you have no shade source in your yard. You can get this stabilizing base for it for like $50 but who needs that, right? Just stack some water buckets on it and embrace your white trash side.

Since Henry and Violet were playing in the pool, I decided to grab the camera and take some shots of them enjoying the new digs.

See that action shot? In the next half second Henry will fall down and yell at Violet for kicking the ball into him.

Happiness is playing in a kiddie pool

Happiness is sitting down in a cool pool with no diaper on

Happiness is squirting your teepee

Happiness is NOT a gust of wind that knocks over the giant umbrella right onto your head at the same moment you take a picture because you were too cheap to buy the very important stabilizing base.

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Teenage Humor

In the middle of packing, I discovered something I’d written when I was 17. Please don’t judge me.

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your house back, your dog back, your truck back, your diamondback, your payback, your hatchback, your quarterback, your outback, your horseback, your cashback, your switchback, your backpack, your hunchback, your fullback, your halfback, your lineback, your playback, your razorback, your setback, your touchback, your paperback, your bareback, your talkback, your hogsback, your feedback, your piggyback, your tailback, your doubleback, and your comeback. “

Don’t judge.

 

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Nerd Report

Well, in my quest to avoid becoming a nerd I have come to a crossroad. I need braces. I know this, but since I wear glasses, this also means that I now need contacts. Braces and glasses at the same time would be just too much for my self-esteem. I know, I know…I just can’t do it.

That being said, today I got fitted for contacts. Here’s the deal. Contacts are seriously creepy. Like something off of a futuristic alien movie creepy. Hey, I have a great idea, lets take something that looks like a clear piece of skin and stick it onto your EYEBALL!!! Oh, and by the way, let’s do this while your eyes are dilated so that you can’t actually see the contact that are virtually invisible anyway until your arm is outstretched like an old person reading a restaurant menu while their glasses rest secretly on their head. Unfortunately the creepiness doesn’t end there. Taking them out is like watching some spy caper where someone has a prosthetic face on that they peel off in a flourish. There’s nothing like creeping yourself out. Nothing quite like reaching into your eye and pinching your EYEBALL until a flap of skin pops off.

At least I won’t be a nerd.

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