That Thing You Do

Dear Stillaguamish River,
You need to go on a diet.

Yay for living in an area where you either live in a flood plain, or you have to drive through one. Yes, it’s that time of year again. Parties for hosting, marshmallows are toasting, and caroling out in the snow…wait, that’s a song. Let’s see…Sandbags are rising, the flood waters–surprising, and rowboats are out on the road…
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
There’ll be much mistltoeing,
And hearts will be glowing
from-the-heavy-exertion-of-lifting-sandbags…
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
With the kids jingle belling,
And everyone telling you “Don’t-drive-over-covered-roadways-because-that’s-how-the-majority-of-flooding-deaths-occur,”
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
It’s the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and emergency-support meetings,
When friends come to call and-help-you-sand-bag-your-house…
It’s the hap- happiest season of all!

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