I write this post from deep in the trenches of motherhood. We’ve been under some heavy firepower the last couple of days but luckily our sniper, AJ, has been able to keep them at bay. Food has been pretty scarce, and our rations have been split up to last longer, since we haven’t seen much in the way of reinforcements. Seriously, we had pizza pockets and chicken tenders for thanksgiving dinner because there was no way I was going to attempt cooking with such sick little kids. Henry has had a thoroughly miserable week, but I think he might be starting to feel better. He went a few days without playing or smiling and only wanting to be held and whine, which was pretty counterproductive in the areas of cooking and cleaning. Naturally, Violet is now officially stir crazy, since the worst of her cold has been over for nearly a week, but she’s still been cooped up inside with a sick little brother who has to be held all the time.
Here’s the kicker, I’ve never been more thankful for the health of my children than this past week. Honestly. AJ just started working as a dialysis nurse at Children’s Hospital in Seattle, and in hearing stories of his little patients, I am struck by the weight of grief I do not have to carry as the parent of a very sick child. He was telling me about a little girl just younger than Violet who has daily dialysis, and the thought of Violet sitting in that chair instead made my heart ache.
I am naturally a pessimist. I have no problem with that. I call it “realism”, and it helps life make more sense I think. However, as a diehard pessimist I find certain truths and hopes as necessary to cling to as a drowning man to a lifesaver. I think it is vital to be able to see and appreciate the providential hand of God in your life in every aspect you can. Whether that is thanking him for the health of your children while they drool in misery on your shoulder, or simply to appreciate the meal you just ate while reflecting on those who have none.
One of my nephews was doing his homework the other day when he was presented with a multiple choice question. He read aloud, “We live in this: hand, horse, house.” He circled “house” but he said to his mom, “Hands? we live in God’s hands.”