Okay, I’m back. I know we got back on monday but it’s been a long week already for many reasons. We’ve been enjoying AJ’s time off between jobs and trying to restock our pantries while grocery shopping with two small children, which for some reason has an uncanny ability to make me forget why on earth I stepped foot in a grocery store for something other than jojo’s from the deli. We’ve also been trying to reconnect with friends and family and get our kids into clothes that fit. They’ve both grown so much since we’ve been gone that by the end they were both looking ridiculous.
We’ve also been trying to make sense of tragedies and the frailty of life that seems so much more apparent now that I have children of my own. Some dear friends of ours lost their sweet little girl just a little younger than Henry this past weekend. Every time I start to try and wrap my head around what just happened, something shorts out and I’m left with an ache in my throat that doesn’t swallow away. I can’t understand it. So I don’t try. I can do nothing but surrender into the knowledge that God is good. No one can deny that there is pain and cruelty in our world, but in the same breath it is also impossible to deny the goodness of God. While a loss like this makes me want to watch my children while they sleep and allow myself to be tormented by worry, I know in spite of all the future holds, Jesus loves my loved ones even more than I do. This is a great comfort to me.