garfield, throwing up, and salad

For some reason, Violet always wants me to read to her from one of our Garfield comic books. Regardless of how you feel about Garfield, you must agree that it makes for some pretty boring storytimes. Case in point: here is the dialogue from two pages in the middle of the comic book.

page one:


Yes, Mrs Feeny?…Your little dog?…Collar taken?…Shaved bald?…Painted green?…Uh-huh?…Yeesh

No, he’s been here asleep all day. Yes, all day, really. Uh-huh…goodbye.

page two:

So, Garfield

How’s the laziness business?


Cats and mice are supposed to be enemies!


Merits discussion.

Cheese? My place?

I’m tired of looking at that face of yours, Odie.

Cool! Now do a hamster.

Do you understand my dilemma? I’m all about exposing Violet to different types of literature for various age groups, but comic books require a certain amount of improvisational story skills to make the story interesting.

Oh, look! Jon is going to talk to someone on the phone. Yeah, he has a phone like Mama has a phone…and there’s the kitty. His name is Garfield. See the collar he’s twirling around in the air? Yeah, he wasn’t nice to that doggy. No that’s his friend the Mouse. Yes, they’re very good friends aren’t they? See how they are sharing that piece of cheese? Yes Violet, sometimes kitties like to eat plants. I know, bad bad kitty.

Next up, in today’s edition of Boys Will be Boys, we were at a playground today covered in kids. There was an old sit-n-spin at one end that a couple of junior high boys were using in an attempt to make themselves throw up. I realized this about halfway into their “game” when one of the boys stopped spinning around and just stood there, doubled over, and holding his stomach with a string of drool coming from his mouth. The other three watched closely.

“Is he going to throw up?

“Are you going to throw up?

“I don’t know…”

“Spin more!”

“Yeah, I think you need to spin faster.”

“Can one of you guys spin me then? I’m pretty dizzy.”

Its not like they were picking on him either, the others had a go as well. Fortunately, no one threw up.

Lastly, Salad. One of the things I love about summertime is that I enjoy salads the most in the summer. Don’t get me wrong; I like salads any time of the year, but there’s something about coming in out of the cold and wet to eat something cold and wet that just doesn’t sit right with me.

Here’s the “recipe” for the salad we had for dinner tonight.

a layer of chopped romaine,

a layer of chopped tomato,

a layer of shredded carrot,

a layer of avocado slices,

a layer of red onion slices,

a layer of fresh corn,

a layer of sliced mushrooms

a layer of sliced cucumber,

a layer of shredded cheddar cheese,

a layer of chopped, cold, barbecued pork,

a layer of crumbled corn chips,

a layer of ranch dressing with dots of barbecue sauce

Okay, so maybe I added a few ingredients while I was typing. It all sounded too good. I think we’ll have the full recipe later on this week because avocados and tomatoes are on sale and I have a bunch of cold barbecued pork in my fridge. Seriously, this ain’t your grandmother’s salad.