Badass vs. Dumbass

WARNING: the following post may or may not contain bad words, but that all depends on how you define them.

Here’s a list of things you can do that do not make you a badass:




premarital sex


and some other things too.

Unless you are legitimately badass, like say a sniper who goes on secret missions for the government, or a winner of the Indy 500, or a navy seal; doing any of the above things will do nothing to change your status from a dumbass to a badass.

If you’re going to smoke, smoke because you like to. If you’re going to drink, drink because it’s a perfect summer afternoon barbecue or a timeless glass of wine with an old friend. If you’re going to do drugs, do them only after you’ve time traveled to the future and had your future self sign a consent form. If you’re going to have premarital sex, only do so if you’re passionately in love in a committed relationship with someone you intend to marry who feels the same way*. If you’re going to get tattoos, get tattoos of things that are deeply meaningful to you that you know will continue to be meaningful in fifty years. If you do any of these things (and some others) just because you want to be badass, you’re a dumbass.

* This is not, nor ever has been a good excuse to have premarital sex. I would never condone premarital sex. However, plenty of you either have or will have sex outside of marriage. Basically, don’t have sex just for the experience or to impress someone.