insert creative phrase here

Names are hard. It’s even hard for me to name my blog posts because I have to name them before I write them. It’s the same way with babies–you have to name them before you see what they’ll turn out to be like. Life really is like a box of chocolates that way.

For all you that ask every time I see you–yes, we have some names picked out. No, I will not tell you. Here’s why:

1. I might change my mind

2. I actually don’t want your opinion.

3. I’m afraid hearing your opinion might make me change my mind,

4. and then I would be mad at the both of us.

5. Names are far less criticized after they are already attached to a cute little baby.

6. We still haven’t picked one. or two.

7. I like keeping secrets just to bug you.

It’s daunting. We’re about to pick a name that this little person will go by for the rest of their lives. Don’t even get me started on all the nickname options.

P.S. Parents should have the prerogative to hold a lifetime veto on any disagreeable nicknames. So many of the names I like have nicknames that I very much strongly do not like. I wish I had that much control. No matter what you say, and even what your child says–some nicknames are inevitable. For example, I have a friend whose name rhymes with “Spamuel”*. His family calls him this and he introduces himself as such, but it never seemed to help growing up. He’s an adult now, but as far as I’m aware–he probably still gets called “Spam”**.

* Not his actual name. Name is kept secret to keep his identity confidential.

** Again, not his actual name. Name is kept secret to keep his identity confidential.