The Consequences of Nose Picking and Other Things…

Today I asked Violet to say “AJ”. Her response?

“Daddy!”

So I recently realized that this was supposed to be Italian month. I forgot. Maybe next month. In honor of forgetting I made coconut cod and chips with a coconut-banana smoothie. Yes, it was awesome. In case you decide you want to be awesome and make it, here’s how:

1. buy fresh cod fillets, canned coconut milk, Pride of the West All Purpose Batter Mix (Haggen), potatoes, bananas.

2. cut the potatoes into wedges and coat with your own special mix of extra batter mix, black pepper, paprika, cumin, and olive oil. Bake in a sheet pan at 350 till soft. (1/2 hour?)

3. use half a can of coconut milk to mix with the batter mix till you have a soft batter to dip the fillets in. I cut my fillet in to smaller pieces because a whole fillet is too big.

5. when the potatoes are done, heat 1/4-1/3 cup canola oil in a frying pan on medium to medium-high heat. Fry the fish till golden brown or about 1-2 minutes per side.

6. Mix mayo and barbecue sauce and anything else interesting to dip your fries in.

7. Eat while still awesome and hot.

8. In a good blender, mix frozen banana chunks, the rest of the coconut milk, a little vanilla and your choice of sweetener. I used Agave nectar. Prepare your mouth for a little bit of amazingness.

Sorry, I know it’s boring to read a recipe with no pictures. I didn’t take any. However, AJ did get some great ones that demonstrate what happens when you pick your nose with marker on your fingers.

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jobs i should have

If I worked for the post office, I would read all the postcards.

If I worked at Dairy Queen, I would either give people extra ice cream, or pour in their soft-serve so that the cone was as empty as possible but you couldn’t tell till you bit into it.

If I worked at a bank, I might give those exploding money packets out that they reserve for bank robbers to people I didn’t like.

If I was a painter, I would paint funny messages first and then paint over them.

If I was a typewriter, I would mind my “P’s” and “Q’s”.

If I was a baker I would definitely wear a tall bakers hat. Definitely.

If I was a pastor, I would give people a proper dunking when I baptized them…and maybe hold them under a few extra seconds for good measure.

If I was a grocery store checker, I would never stack stuff on top of bread.

If I was a dictator, I would be the nicest one ever.

If I was a doctor, I would like to–just once–gravely address a male patient and tell him he was pregnant.

If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning. Because, if it was my job, then my neighbor couldn’t get mad at me.

If I was a used car salesperson, I would perfect a good cackling laugh and rub my hands together when ever someone came on the lot.

If I was a new car tester for automakers, I would take them to grocery store parking lots and jump all the curbs.

Just so you know…

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mornings…

1. my diaper genie smells like a giant fart every time i open it.

2. the cat is hiding under the bed and i can’t reach him.

3. violet peed on a towel

4. and then she unraveled my floss.

5. the only thing i’ve cleaned so far is the lint trap on the dryer.

6. i have to wear long pants today to hide my hairy legs..shaving is not as much of a priority when it’s this hard to do.

7. there is a dead robin on my patio

8. i just remembered that he’s been there for a week.

9. i opened my fridge to get milk and found a dvd.

10. welcome to my saturday.

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Roses and Leprechauns

So, three things:

1. yes, i know its saint patricks day, but i don’t particularly care, and here’s why:

  • i’m pregnant, so no alcohol
  • but green beer never sounds good to me anyway
  • (something with irish cream does…)
  • corned beef does not sound good right now
  • or cabbage…
  • however, I make a mean Irish soda bread.
  • It’s the one day of the year where everyone claims to be part Irish. Which is annoying when you actually have some Irish in you, but not enough to wear a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish!” t-shirt, while you watch the “Irish” come out of the woodwork in search of green beer, jigs, and free kisses.

2. We’re replacing our carpet with laminate right now, so my living room is in the garage, and Violet is not a fan of all the new places she can’t go.

3. Tomorrow marks five and a half years of marriage for us. You know what? We still got it. However, my wedding bouquet does not. While moving the living room to the garage yesterday, I decided to throw it out and let it die in peace, but first–I took some pictures.

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Life With the Cherry on Top

Today was a “with whip cream, sugar, and a cherry on the top” kind of day. Yes, there was that one point where I was humming pentatonic scales in my head just to keep my sanity, and there was that time where she wouldn’t stop using her sippy cup as a water gun on the cat. Violet, are you going to shake water on the cat again? Yes, Mom. Do you want a spank? Yes, Mom. Do you have any idea what I just said? Yes, Mom.

There was also that point where we sat on the couch hugging while she cried after I took the sippy cup away for the third time, and then headed to the kitchen where she sat on the counter watching and touching while I rolled out cinnamon rolls. And of course there was that point where we ran around the park picking all the dandelions just to tear them up and laugh about it… and there was that dandelion crown she forgot she was wearing long enough for her to be surprised when she found it again. And the time when she wouldn’t go down the slide till Daddy had climbed up and killed the two bugs…

Life is made up of moments that contradict. Luckily, there’s always a cherry on top.

Now, sing a musical montage in your head as you watch her climb on the “teeter-totter”.

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