You know what I’ve always wanted? a bumper sticker that says “I’d rather drive a Ford than push a Chevy”. Conveniently, I now drive a Ford instead of a Chevy. I’m not sure if anyone makes such a bumper sticker, but I think my chances of finding one are pretty good considering how many “I’d rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford” stickers I’ve seen. See, here’s my deal: I live in a culture with skewed values and irrelevant status symbols, and every day I have to remind myself of that. Truth be told, I’d rather drive than walk and it takes reminding sometimes when I compare my version of America’s most popular status symbol to the ones that other people drive.

Besides, when I have a cat this lazy–what more could I ask for?

If you listen closely, you can hear the snoring.