1. my diaper genie smells like a giant fart every time i open it.

2. the cat is hiding under the bed and i can’t reach him.

3. violet peed on a towel

4. and then she unraveled my floss.

5. the only thing i’ve cleaned so far is the lint trap on the dryer.

6. i have to wear long pants today to hide my hairy legs..shaving is not as much of a priority when it’s this hard to do.

7. there is a dead robin on my patio

8. i just remembered that he’s been there for a week.

9. i opened my fridge to get milk and found a dvd.

10. welcome to my saturday.