this is what you get when i stay up way too late

Five Things You’re Probably Not Doing With Five Things You Probably Have

Fifth thing: Hydrogen peroxide. This can be used for just about any cleaning/deodorizing thing you can think of. Here are just a few ideas.

  1. rinse your toothbrush to keep it clean and kill germs.
  2. add some to the wash to boost whitening.
  3. add 1/4 cup to a sink full of cold water before rinsing veggies to keep them fresh longer.
  4. use as a mouthwash to whiten and clean.
  5. kill mold by spraying or wiping directly.

yay, it rained. i was beginning to miss the rain.

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One of the ways AJ is a great dad

The following was overheard during story time.

“No! don’t eat me” said the gingerbread man to the fox. “Instead, lets go back to my house and the old man and the old woman will make us tons and tons of gingerbread people for us to eat in a cannibalistic feast!”.

1. AJ likes to paraphrase story books.

2. He especially likes to paraphrase them when they change the original ending of the nursery story to being something PC and cheesy.

If i was making a list of awesome things, the Santa Claus Mellon would definately be on it. It was the most amazing mellon I have ever had in my entire life. I bought it this afternoon at schuh farms in stanwood. Here’s a picture I found online. Go buy one. Seriously. Now.

Ok, so I know I missed yesterday’s entry for the

Five Things You’re Probably Not Doing With Five Things You Probably Have

So I’m doing three and four today. Here goes.

Third thing: Baking soda.

  1. Sprinkle, let sit, and then vacuum off of carpets and upholstery in place of carpet freshener.
  2. Sprinkle in bath for softer skin.
  3. Make a paste with water and apply to bug bites for relief.
  4. Sprinkle (again) into the laundry basket to keep odors at bay before you wash.
  5. 1 teaspoon of baking soda for 4 cups of water to keep cut flowers fresh longer.

Fourth thing: Lemons/Lemon juice.

  1. Spray or wipe lemon juice on the inside of your shower or bath and let sit 15 minutes at least to dissolve soap scum and hard water deposits.
  2. 1/2 cup into the clothes washer to brighten without bleaching.
  3. Dab on a blemish to help it clear up quicker.
  4. Rub a cut lemon on wooden cutting boards to remove strong odors.
  5. Throw lemon peels and ice cubes down garbage disposal to freshen and clean.
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The Fly Must Die

the hunt is on

for the dirty fly;

the dastardly con

that goes whizzing by.

in defense of all things good and right,

my mighty sword is a haggen ad.

while a fly in the house (to you) may seem trite,

to me it is nothing but gross and bad.

I miss not once,

but three times or more.

I look like a dunce,

but I  will settle this score.

“Land! land!” I scream in my head

and suddenly you do…on a balloon.

When the thwack of destiny leaves you dead,

I realize my daughter now thinks I’m a goon.

Not only do I

look like a crazed loon,

but I just finished beating

her smiley-faced balloon.

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this, that, and the other

In today’s edition of

Just ‘Cause You Used Spell Check, Don’t Mean it’s Right

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All New! Trail Mix for Lawyers.

Five Things You’re Probably Not Doing With Five Things You Probably Have

Second thing: Table Salt. I know you have this; no excuses.

Here’s five things you can do:

  1. dump a teaspoon or so on the bottom of that pot while you’re scrubbing it to add scouring power.
  2. pour one cup into your waste disposal and start the water and the motor to freshen and remove deposits.
  3. Amazing stain remover (like on those pit-stains). 2 tablespoons salt to 1 cup hot water.
  4. body scrub: salt alone or mixed with an essential oil and olive oil to scrub your body in the tub.
  5. apparently it absorbs oil. pour some into that oily pan before washing, wait a few minutes and then scrape into the waste.

So, you know how when you begin entering your search terms into google, it shows you a drop down box with possible options? I was having trouble remembering some of the things you can use salt for, so I began to google  household things you can do with salt. By the time I had typed in  household things, here’s what the drop down box showed.

household things that get you high

household things to smoke

household things you can smoke

household things to smoke out of

household things to get high

household things that can get you high

household things that you can get high off of

household things that you can smoke to get high

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Quote of the Day and other random points of non-pertinence

“Noooooooooo, dat!”

Today’s Quote of the Day comes courtesy of miss Violet. I was feeding her baby food from two different jars; one she liked, and one she did not. I kept slipping in bites from the gross jar until she gave in to her indignation and and pointed blatantly at the yummy jar when she said, “dat!”

Also, she now has five teeth–the fifth one coming in under the radar, so I have no idea when…

Here’s a funny little blogging phenomenon I’ve noticed; people in my life read my blog, which allows them a chance to get to know me better, but I don’t  know who is reading  my blog, so when they react differently towards me in real life based on something I’ve written–it’s weird. Case in point: I met someone this week through a friend that reads my blog, and they seemed so excited to see me. “Oh! You must be Pearl! I’m so glad to finally meet you!” Of course my first reaction is to think, creepy! doesn’t this person know we’ve never actually talked, and that until we establish a basic relationship things should be slightly more formal and awkward? Not that I’m condoning formal and awkward, but that’s just how things are. Once I realized that she probably reads my blog I thought to myself crap! did I just scare off my paparazzi? must act cooler, must act cooler, must act cooler…

Last but not least, this week I’ll be featuring a column called:

Five Things You’re Probably Not Doing With Five Things You Probably Have

First thing: White Vinegar. Okay, you might not have this in your house, but it’s so stinking cheap and available, you have no excuse.

Here’s five things you can do:

  1. wash windows (cut with water and use in place of glass cleaner)
  2. use in dishwasher in place of rinse aid.
  3. put in mister to spray (lightly) your house or car in place of febreeze
  4. dab on bug bites or mild sunburns for relief
  5. repel ants (cut with water and spray or wipe)


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“I belive I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away…”

yes, the quotation marks are there to make sure you know I didn’t actually make that title up.

Anyway, what does an old camper canopy, a patio umbrella, and Mary Poppins have in common?

Magic, my friends…pure magic.

One summer afternoon the summer I was seven, a moving truck went past our house and a patio umbrella fell out of the back. My mom tried to flag them down, but they were long gone. Either way, by the time the patio umbrella got carried up into the front yard my imagination had already changed it’s title to teepee/playhouse/carousel tent/fashionable accessory, and most important of all–a parachute. I figured, Hey, airplanes weigh hundreds of pounds and they can fly–the only thing that’s keeping me on the ground is the lack of a giant umbrella. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the summer climbing up on top of the truck camper canopy and jumping off while holding onto the umbrella. I was confident that if I could just perfect my technique, the umbrella would catch a gust of wind and I’d be flying around the neighborhood. It never worked, but i’m pretty sure that’s only because the camper top wasn’t high enough.

in case you’re wondering, i stole these pictures from various websites.

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