Ok, so apparently there’s this new trend in the burial biz called Green Burials. Get this–you just put a person in the ground. Just…bury them. I don’t know about you, but this novel idea has the propensity to revolutionize the whole dying business. Those people that sell life insurance for children “…to cover final expenses…” are seriously going to be out of a job.
So here’s where it gets my goat, so to speak. Why you gotta go and call it a Green Burial? Because seriously, that’s the only thing that makes me not want to do it. I mean obviously, I have no problem with protecting the environment but when the whole environmental issue is poster-boy’d by Mr. Al Gore telling me that I need to reduce my carbon footprint, it takes away all his credibility. Of course, there are plenty of other things that take away all that man’s credibility…
Anyway, where do the greenies get the right to name them Green Burials? Because truth be told…its really just a glorified Redneck Burial.
Somewhere, a hairy old man in a wife-beater is sitting on his porch sharing a beer with his mangy dog.
“Green Burial! Hell, that’s how we done buried ol’ Jimmy jist last fall. Tweren’t nuthin’ green about it neither; not when you reckon’ in that six-pack and Granddad’s shotgun we buried with ‘im. “