Ok, it wasn’t really an impulse buy. I needed new sheets for my bed and bought a set of gold satin sheets because they were on clearance at Fred Meyers for fifteen bucks. In the package in the store, they looked like a soft, muted gold. In my bedroom, on my bed, they look like they were made from a giant pair of gold parachute pants worn by a pimp in the ’80’s. Any minute now, a disco ball is going to come out of my ceiling. The words I would use to describe them, include; “rad” or “tubular”.
You ever have that defining moment when you realize that everyone is weird like you? I have. Many times. I seem to catch people doing things they wouldn’t normally admit to doing. Like the cashier at the grocery store letting out an SBD (silent-but-deadly) fart once while I was in line. I know it was her. I was the only one in line. Or the time AJ and I were driving home through Burlington and were stopped at a traffic light. We’d just been to see a movie and I had this booger that just had to come out. Stop that right now–you have them too. Anyway, I discreetly turned my head to remove the offending booger and as I did so I turned to face the man in the car next to me…who was doing the exact same thing. It was a sweet moment really, looking into a total stranger’s eyes with fingers up both our noses.