i freaking love summertime

seriously.

last summer i was grossly pregnant. I mean “grossly” in the sense that my whole being was fully involved in the overheated–puffy-footed–waddling-walk’d–itchy-bellied-hot-mess of getting a baby ready for the world.

this summer is going to be everything last summer couldn’t…and the last 4 summers before. NO SUMMER SCHOOL. can i get an amen?

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today in a nutshell

wake up early, courtesy of the baby

head out to drop Violet off at the grandparent’s house

shopping at old navy

watch star trek (good)

home with the baby to take showers and get gussied up

swing by starbucks

mocha frappuccino

drive to wedding destination

watch my brother play the processional at my cousin’s wedding

Aerol and Amy sing a song together–impressive, i’ve never seen the bride and groom do that before

Violet eats grass

visiting with friends and family

food

punch

visiting

Violet

dancing

dancing

dancing

tired

drive home in the dark as the fingers of the night reach to cool the horizon

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the beginning of an era

that would be the era of “Kids Eat Free.”
Seriously, we went to IHOP tonight and ordered a kiddie meal of chicken strips, fries, and apple slices FOR FREE. Violet didn’t eat a whole lot of it, but we were kind of counting on that, which is why we ordered something that sounded good to us. Just found another way to stick it to the man.

Oh, and another entry in the Great Things About Childhood category; backyard swimming pools. Tonight after IHOP, we stopped by target and got Violet a little inflatable pool for $5 so that she could have a pool to cool off in on our patio. You’ll probably see a post here in a few days about how that pool leaked water all over the patio, or how I got light-headed trying to blow it up, but whatev…

Today my sister and I made French Vanilla ice cream with white chocolate and vanilla wafer pieces. my ice cream maker chickened out when it started getting thick so it didn’t get churned too long, which makes it a little icy, but it still tastes amazing.
Tomorrow, my little cousin gets married. weird.

this is the part where i usually hit the “spell check” button, but i’m just not feelin it tonight, so if you see a typo, chalk it up to non-automatic spell check.

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grrrr

I had a nice post going here before Violet hit the power button on the computer and shut everything down without warning.

Anyway, I was talking about how I’ve lost one of my pairs of glasses and that I have a sinking suspicion that Violet know’s exactly where they are, which isn’t a good thing when it comes to glasses.

Then, I had a paragraph about my lady bugs being all gone because my patio was too hot…

wait: here we go–i found the other post.

“”PPPHHHHHGGGGLLLLLLHHHH”  that’s the phonetic spelling for the sound I just made. I lost my glasses. Meaning, as you well know–that I have no idea what I did with them. sad. Yes i have another pair, no they’re not as cute.

Anyway, I think all my ladybugs are gone. Apparently they like a cool moist environment, and my back patio is anything but. Also, apparently spiders are very effective against garden pests so I should keep them around. Define “pest”, though…I mean, anything that covers the patio in webs so that I…”

must not have recovered all of it…

anyway, spiders are still pests in my opinion.

OK, so proof that I am not just saying Violet is the cutest baby ever, take a look at this cute picture.

Cutey cute cute

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No autographs, please.

My husband got to defibrillate a man today and give him CPR. Yes, he’s a nurse, but it was still exciting.

And now, a moment of silence for how great my life is: my husband saved a life today, and my precious daughter is sleeping in her bed after laying her down and singing to her.

ok, so i know you have free time on your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, so go to this site real quick: www.cakewrecks.com

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more great things about childhood that adults sometimes miss

  1. falling asleep on the way home and having someone carry you up to bed
  2. shooting someone with your finger and having them actually “die”
  3. jello jigglers
  4. staying up past bedtime
  5. surprises
  6. party hats
  7. riding on someones shoulders
  8. blowing dandelion heads
  9. lemonade stands
  10. digging to china
  11. making tunnels in dirt for cars to drive though
  12. “shooting” things and making the sound effects
  13. sword fights with sticks
  14. birthdays
  15. playing with your food
  16. trying to walk in a certain pattern across tiled floors in grocery stores
  17. having a dollar to spend any way you want
  18. sledding
  19. getting to ride in the front of a grocery cart
  20. getting up really early on Christmas morning after staying up as late you can the night before.
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Childhood Revisited

One of the best parts about being a parent is that you get to do all the things that adults are too old for but are still great fun.

Case in point: bubbles. Need I say more? This afternoon I got a bubble wand at Target and when AJ and I got home we took Violet out to the park to introduce her to the wonders of bubbles. I am not at all embarrassed to admit that we probably had more fun than she did because we go to do all the bubble-making. We took turns waving the bubble wand to make bubbles while the other one held Violet and ran after to bubbles to try and pop them.

When I was young enough to earn my Grandma’s nickname of “Peawee”, I remember playing in the park with my parents when they had just gotten a bubble maker. I’m not sure what it was called, but it involved using nylon cord to form the bubble shapes and the bubbles were the sizes of small cars. When you’re two or three years old, and you’re chasing after a bubble five times your size–its amazing. As you can tell, this obviously had a strong impression on me.

Other great things about childhood that adults don’t do but still like:

pushup popsicles

playing in puddles

make-believe games

couch-cushion forts in the living room.

reading in bed with a flashlight.

sleepovers.

running around naked.

mud pies

splashing in the bath

building forts in the woods.

playing hide and seek

summer break

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death to bad bugs

seriously, aphids have spent the last few weeks and all of last summer ravaging my honeysuckle. not cool. I tried the chemicals, but they did nearly as much damage to my plants, so today I brought in the troops.

That’s right, I just finished dumping a bucket of ladybugs loose on my plants. Ladybugs are the cute killer, the silent terror when it comes to aphids and most other harmful bugs… and bonus–they’re cute too!

now if i could just find something for spiders…

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Rules for a successful garage sale

  1. Don’t use generic signs, because that’s what everyone else uses and you can’t tell if you’ve already seen that garage sale.
  2. Don’t be a couple of creepy men in the back alley behind your house trying to sell stuff that should just be taken to the dump.
  3. Don’t take up all the parking in your subdivision during the community garage sale by taking your cars out of the garage and parking in the guest spots.
  4. Don’t try convincing me it’s an original or rare. Yes cassette tapes are vintage now–that doesn’t make them worth anything.
  5. Don’t get your arrows mixed up.
  6. Don’t just sell clothes.
  7. Don’t look it up online to see how much it used to be and then tell someone they’re getting a deal at 50% off. That’s called extortion.
  8. Don’t have firm prices.
  9. Don’t sell something you know is broken.
  10. Do sell cold soft drinks and cookies.

 

Obviously I garage-sale’d today…

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not my problem

Violet just discovered that AJ has armpit hair and is very intent on investigating further.

here’s what I had for dinner…because you care.

1 slice wheat bread

1 slice potato bread

mayo (not…never miracle whip)

mustard

mashed avocado

tomato slices

lettuce

roast beef

bacon

salami

havarti

red onion

…compile….key word being pile.

there is no bad combination of quality meats, cheeses and vegetables on a sandwich.

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vintage treasures/old junk

why can’t thriftstores figure out that antique stores can charge a lot for something when it’s old, but thriftstore have to charge less for it because it’s old.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Mocha Shake

serves 2

3-4 bananas (if using frozen, do not add ice)

1 1/2 Cups ice

1 Tablespoon instant coffee dissolved in 1/4 cup water or 1/4 cup strong coffee

2 Tablespoons peanut butter

2 Tablespoons instant cocoa mix

1+ Cup ice cream

Blend all together. Drizzle with chocolate syrup. Go for a jog.

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top ten things you should never say while on a cell phone

  1. “Can you hear me now?”
  2. …..   

Interesting News Headlines of the Day

AN INTERESTING COLLECTION OF BONES THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE REALLY REALLY FREAKING OLD AND MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SOME RELATION TO A MONKEY

So, apparently they think they’ve maybe finally found the proof that makes them almost pretty close to being surer than before that there is a slight possibility to find a way to link humans and monkeys as having the same ancestors. It’s name is Ida, the 47-million year-old “mother of all monkeys.” I personally am just blown away, I mean…this changes everything!

PROOF THAT TEXAS MIGHT ACTUALLY SECEDE ONE OF THESE DAD GUM DAYS

Apparently the great state of Texas is trying to keep “all ya’ll” out by building a wall around the perimeter. You can read the entire account right here, but because most of you hate clicking on links, here’s some excerpts of the article.

“As governor, it is my responsibility to do whatever’s necessary to maintain the territorial integrity of  Texas. You shouldn’t have to worry about some American coming in here, using your goods and services, and taking away your job.”
“The wall is comprised of a razor-wire fence equipped with motion sensors, surveillance cameras, and guard towers; a 70-foot-wide trench with expert marksmen stationed along its perimeter; a roadway patrolled by armed vehicles equipped with synchronized electromagnetic wave gradiometers to detect Americans attempting to tunnel their way into Texas; and a second, third, and fourth fence.”
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Seattle Cheese Festival or Bust

key word being “bust”.

I’ve been in some serious crowds before. This, was a serious crowd. (by serious, i mean huge and humongous, not sober and austere). After taking the wrong bus and getting dropped off close enough to Pikes Place to end up walking waaaaaay longer than we intended, we were greeted by a Pikes Place that was literally bursting at it’s colorful grunge seams. There were way too many people…all the little shops on the sides of the market had huge lines out the doors that were multiple people deep, so after our long walk we couldn’t even get anything to drink. There was a giant wine tasting tent that I was planning on visiting, but one look inside at the packed, sweaty people sipping warm wine out of plastic cups while getting crammed in tighter by the back of the line was enough for me. The worst part? dozens and dozens (and dozens) of artisan cheese vendors, and we only got two samples. TWO. Please understand, this is no reflection of my ability to get samples/deep appreciation for the art of cheese. There were just that many people there.

The greatest part of my day was sitting in a coffee shop–blocks away–and drinking a berry smoothie with AJ and Violet. I’d take a sip, he’d take a sip, and then we’d give it to Violet. We were using a straw and now that she has top and bottom teeth, she figured out that (a) we kept taking her drink away, and (b) if she bit down on the straw she could keep it a little longer.

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this is totally worth your time

Today I was chewing gum, blew a bubble, and got gum stuck on my glasses. Who does that?

Curious Thought of the Day: whoever coined the phrase “…stiff upper lip…”? I understand what it means, but not how it means that.

To the person or persons responsible for stealing the stroller from the front of the Bradley’s house: how much of a loser do you have to be to steal a baby stroller? I’m picturing you walking away quickly and pushing a stolen  stroller as you glance over your shoulder–you look retarded.

AJ is a superstar. If you saw my patio, you’d know what I meant.

Today we were at this GIANT (giant) community-wide garage sale, walking down the street from one garage sale to the next, when a woman in a car pulls up alongside us and rolls down the window.

“How old is your daughter?”

“Ten months…”

“I’ve got a bunch of baby clothes in my trunk–you want any?”

“No thank you, digging for baby clothes in a strangers trunk after I’ve been stopped by her car slowly following me is nearly as creepy as buying ice cream from an unmarked ice cream truck or puppies from a middle-aged man. ”

I didn’t actually say that, but that’s what I wanted to say.

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new tooth, another celebrity look-alike, and a recipe link

in case you like surprises, don’t read the title–it gives away EVERYTHING!

So, first things first. Violet got her third tooth in last night while she slept soundly in her bed all the whole night through. I’ll take more of that, please! Last night at bathtime I checked for new teeth and there were none, but this morning over breakfast cereal, the spoon scraped against that new little top tooth. Let the biting commence.

For this next paragraph, I would like to start off by saying that I do not think Will Ferrell is funny. While I can appreciate dumb humor, I have no room in my life for infantile humor. You Elf fans out there, I do not understand you. That being said, so many people think my husband looks like him.  The resemblance is veryslight in my opinion, but I can somewhat see it when I’m thinking about it. That’s what made this afternoon’s trip to Target so funny. AJ and I were in the checkout line and after rummaging in my purse for AJ’s wallet (he doesn’t like to carry it) I looked up at the cashier to find that she was staring at the two of us with a quizzical half-smile. It was that kind of look that says, “Wait, is this for real?”

“You, um…you look like Dane Cook!”

“Huh? Never heard that before.”

We finished our transaction and left her staring after us looking as if she was waiting for the hidden camera crew to jump out and AJ to say something like, “Hey, you’re right! I am Dane cook.”

we laughed at her.

(FYI: Dane Cook is a lame actor and comedian)

Ok, so I realize that you are in need of that recipe link about now. Here it is: The Kick You In The Face Enchiladas. Make them…or at least read the post.

And now, for those of you that like surprises but read the title of this blog before you read the first sentence…

This morning I was telling AJ a story about playing with Violet the day before, but stopped when I realized that my next sentence involved the following phrase, “…and then I went up on my hind legs…”

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sleep-induced fraud

you know that feeling when you hit the snooze button? That deep conviction that if you can just sleep for ten more minutes, everything will be much better?

What’s up with that?

I never used to use a snooze button, because I was determined to squeeze out every last drop of sleep left before I had to face the day ahead of me. Ruining the last ten to twenty minutes of sleep never made much sense to me until I had a roommate that hit the snooze every ten minutes of the last hour of sleep. I was pretty annoyed at first, but for a class A procrastinator like me, the thought of falling back to sleep afterthe alarm went off, was sheer bliss. Needless to say, I am now an addicted snoozer user.  I only hit it once, but once enough for me to get that procrastination high.  I should probably add that the only way I can use a snooze effectively is with a husband. I tried using it after I left my roommate but I had issues with breaking alarm clocks after tossing things at it to try to hit the snooze button to avoid getting out of bed.

Anyway, the point of this whole rambly blog post was to (A) post a blog for the day, and (B) there was no other point. Good night, sweet dreams, great snooze.

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I hate spiders

pretty much

so, yeah….

we spent the afternoon and evening working on our patio/buying supplies for said patio, so we had a marinara chicken sandwich for dinner. Easy squeezy.

  1. cook breaded chicken tenders in oven till crispy.
  2. slice white cheddar or mozzarella onto a hamburger bun
  3. place chicken on hot bun.
  4. cover with hot marinara or spaghetti sauce.
  5. cover with top bun.
  6. eat

I know, it’s basically like eating fast food at home except they don’t pee in the pickles. 

Illegal Things I Did Today:

  • forged a signature
  • drove over the speed limit
  • used a cell phone while driving
  • ate while driving
  • dumped my extra patio dirt in the back of the park in outside my fence. when I say “dumped” i mean, “had AJ dump”

That’s me…livin’ on the edge, outta control!

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By Royal Decree

see, I can say that because I am the Queen of the Kingdom of Hurst in the goodly land of Arlington. As I was saying…

I hereby decree that there shall be formed a society for the preservation of our mother tongue: English.

This society shall endeavour to decimate all wrongs done to our beauteous language, to the glory of God and country.

Thus, words hithertofore permitted, such as LOL, LMAO, JK, BFF or any other abbreviation that is utterly unnecessary when typing on a full-size keyboard, shall hereby be stricken from the English language.

Let it be done.

This post goes out to a Amanda, lover of fine words and inventor of a recipe she named Kick-You-In-The-Face Enchiladas. How cool is that?

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DQ

“When is the health inspector going to get around to closing this Dairy Queen down finally?”

“When they go inside.”

AJ and I were sitting in our car after church and the church parking lot is right across from Dairy Queen. Picture if you will, the oldest fast food restaurant in town where each year has left another layer of visible grime and invisible germs. The sad part is, they don’t care. It’s like a hospital gown. most people wear hospital gowns tightly wrapped around them while holding the back  scrunched closed with their hands. This Dairy Queen is like a hairy old man who doesn’t even care that he’s missing the back half of his robe. If you’ve got it–flaunt it, right?

Anyway, happy mother’s day to me.

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Garage sale-ing

Here’s what I got at garage sales today.

a cute little birdhouse for $.50

a flower pot for $1.00

a game about the stock market for $.50

three little square ikea mirrors for $.10 each

a decorative plate hanger for $.25

When garage sale-ing (as in thriftstore-ing) I have to remind myself that just because it’s a good price doesn’t mean I need it.

Side note: I heart  Dove Dark Chocolate singles.

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Hey Diddle Diddle…

Violet’s 4th word EVER, is (wait for it…) “Kitty”.

How totally cute is that? For those of you keeping track (alright, just me) the first word was Mama, the second was Dada,  the third, No! which brings us to the fourth being Kitty. There was a neighbor cat on our patio this afternoon, so Violet and I went out and sat on the step to see if he wanted to play. He did, and while he was rolling around at our feet and purring Violet kept saying Ki! Ki! Finally, when he went to the other side of the patio, she copied me and called out Kitty!” The best part was the look on her face when he came back. All these little firsts are so much fun to be a part of. Yesterday while we were on a walk, AJ and I taught Violet how to blow on her first dandelion seed head ever. Today, she poked the eyes on her first snail ever (you know how they creep out like long tentacles and jump back when you touch them? Apparently this is very interesting to babies).

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i forgot what i was going to write about…

AJ and I are in the middle of That Hideous Strength by Mr. Clive Staples L. This book is so unlike anything I have ever read by him and it’s getting weirder with every chapter. I’m hooked. 

 

Yes, that’s Clive Staples L. as in C. S. Lewis. Witty of me, I know. 

Today while Violet was asleep, I took the opportunity to clip all her nails. They grow so fast, and she uses them like a ninja uses a ninja sword (They have a special name that I can’t remember just now). 

Great Idea That I Plan on Carrying Out This Very Summer, So Be Nice and I Might Share With You: I will endeavour to make a banana, coconut, peanut butter, chocolate cream pie…with toasted almonds on top. Oh yes, I shall. 

So here’s the dilemma of the day. Haggen has Kashi cereal on sale at 30% off. They also have a coupon you can combine for an additional $.75 per box. This poses a problem for me because I have mixed feeling about Kashi just now. I really really really like cold cereal, and if I was a single cat lady, I would most likely live solely off of cold cereal and milk. I especially like the more expensive kinds and since Kashi is more expensive, that gives me a legitimate reason to like it. Recently though, a friend told a story about going out for a jog and throwing up after eating Kashi for breakfast, and the Kashi that she had eaten 4 or 5 hours earlier was still totally intact in her stomach, which prompts AJ to say, “Tastes like cardboard, must digest like cardboard.” Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, I guess. So, answer me this:

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Impulse Buy

Ok, it wasn’t really an impulse buy. I needed new sheets for my bed and bought a set of gold satin sheets because they were on clearance at Fred Meyers for fifteen bucks. In the package in the store, they looked like a soft, muted gold. In my bedroom, on my bed, they look like they were made from a giant pair of gold parachute pants worn by a pimp in the ’80’s. Any minute now, a disco ball is going to come out of my ceiling. The words I would use to describe them, include; “rad” or “tubular”.

You ever have that defining moment when you realize that everyone is weird like you? I have. Many times. I seem to catch people doing things they wouldn’t normally admit to doing. Like the cashier at the grocery store letting out an SBD (silent-but-deadly) fart once while I was in line. I know it was her. I was the only one in line. Or the time AJ and I were driving home through Burlington and were stopped at a traffic light. We’d just been to see a movie and I had this booger that just had to come out. Stop that right now–you have them too. Anyway, I discreetly turned my head to remove the offending booger and as I did so I turned to face the man in the car next to me…who was doing the exact same thing. It was a sweet moment really, looking into a total stranger’s eyes with fingers up both our noses.

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Best Buds

Right now, AJ and Violet are playing hide-and-seek via Violet hiding AJ’s face under a shirt and ripping it off when he says, “Where’d Daddy go?” Earlier, they were practicing and perfecting their fake belly laughs.

She’s in a pretty good mood for just having a nebulizer shoved in her face for 10 minutes. She’s pretty sick right now, so I took her to the doctor today and they gave me a nebulizer to take home so we could give her respiratory therapy three times a day. Poor baby. I know what you’re thinking, “Swine Flu!” Calm down. She’s actually doing ok, and I’m pretty sure it’s not swine flu.

Great, now you’re all freaking out.

Anyway, if you think about it, send up a prayer to The Man upstairs. My 21-year-old cousin died last Friday in a tragic accident and my whole extended family is still reeling.There are 45+ people on my dad’s side of the family just in my dad’s siblings, spouses, and their children, but there was only one Stuart Robertson.

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Why do they call it a “pet” peeve?

I get annoyed by this:

1. Talking to someone who is constantly looking at themselves in any available reflection. It peeves me off to no end. Seriously, if you have something in your teeth; excuse yourself, fix it, and get on with the conversation. If you’re just looking at yourself because you like what you see and you find yourself so distracting that you can’t look away while we’re having a “conversation”, I’m going to walk away and leave you talking to yourself. I’m sure you both will have so much to talk about anyway. 

2. Talking to someone who texts while talking. This is also not okay. Gentle Reader, this Miss Manners is pissed off at  your inability to treat the people in front of you with enough decency to look them in the face when they’re talking to you.

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Things of interest pertaining to the events of my day

First things first: Today when I was changing Violet’s diaper, I found a refrigerator magnet in her diaper…that she swallowed. We have a magnetic poetry set where you arrange words and letters to make phrases and Violet swallowed the letter “s”. Needless to say, we are now missing one of our s’s.

Secondly, Violet started legitimately waving today. Before she would raise her hand up in the air your direction in the solemn, reserved sort of way that the Amish might wave. This morning when we got up to drive AJ to work at 4:30, she was in a great mood despite the hour and started doing the opening-closing-hand wave to AJ while he was brushing his teeth. Too freakin’ cute!

Last but not least: one bad thing and one good thing. The bikini stand in Smokey Point started advertising girls wearing pasties. If you don’t know what a pasty is, please don’t google it to find out–it’s basically a glorified band-aid. Who want’s to picket with me and Violet? Good news; an espresso stand on the way to my house advertised this:

IF YOU WANT TO SEE BIKINIS GO TO THE BEACH

Makes me want to buy coffee from them.

side note: the spell check on wordpress is screwed up. It will take part of a word and tell you it is misspelled. Case in point: bikini. Spell check will only underline “kini” and then give me all these ways to correctly spell the word, like  kin, keen, kind, king. Very helpful.

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