Ok, so here’s a horrific little story to help you sleep tonight: today, a friend of mine pulled the foot of a dead rat out of the mouth of her infant daughter.

Anyway, so here’s my great new idea. You remember those write-your-own-adventure books, where you could choose at different parts in the story what the character would do? “Does Ralphy; (a): remove the mask to reveal his true identity? or (b): slay the princess for making such an audacious request? If you picked (a), please turn to page 127. If you picked (b), please turn to page 135.”

So imagine that in a movie…like a romantic comedy. This, is the future of television. Drawbacks: no theater showings. Advantages: being able to watch a normal movie and make it just the way you want it. It would border on video game territory, because at different parts in the story it would stop and allow you to follow the on-screen options. I’ve decided not to copyright this idea because I prefer to watch someone find it and  make a ton of money, so that someday I can tell my kids, “That was my idea to begin with!” Because, how satisfying does that sound?

Still thinking about that rat foot, aren’t you? Sicko. Ok, for the record, this was not my child–I am not covering for myself. So my friend has a cat that loves to catch gifts of rats and mice and leave them dead at the door step. (see, it can’t be me–I don’t have a cat.) Apparently at some point today, said baby managed to find a piece of said rat and put it in her mouth before her horrified mother could find it and pull it out. There, you satisfied?


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