Damn Spam

Seriously. Having a blog I get spam comments all the time. Once, I got a comment from a guy who had a mattress website that he was trying to push, but he legitimately read my post and posted an interesting comment, so I didn’t automatically delete him even though he was marked as spam. That’s a smart spammer for you.

Just now though, I got another spam comment. It read something like this, “Thank you for posting  as I have been thinking about this topic lately. I will definately come back.” At first I was like, “Hey, that’s nice of them” but then I realized that the comment was on a post for a tiramisu recipe.  Really? You’ve been thinking on the topic of tiramisu lately? Riiight. Way to make me feel appreciated.

So don’t tell anyone, but today we tore out the trees the homeowners association planted on our back patio and put up a fence instead. Do you think they’ll notice when everyone sees tree parts in the dumpster? Don’t worry, they were this kind of tree, except uglier (brownish in parts), so no great loss.

Standard

FYI

Guess what? Stamp prices are going up effective May 11th. Remember back in the day when stamp prices were so low, that having penny stamps actually meant something? Yeah…

So, embarrassing story. The last time (or maybe the time before that) that stamp prices were going up, I was pretty confused as to the status of the “forever” stamp. When the postal service announced a “forever” stamp, I thought it was the dumbest idea ever, because I heard somewhere that “forever” meant these particular stamps would issue at say $.37, and they would be good forever. I didn’t realize they would keep going up in price. A year or so later, I heard the announcement that stamp prices would be going up (which I thought was a rotten cheater’s move after they said that they were printing “forever” stamps, and now apparently changed their mind).  I raced to the grocery store on the day of the price change  to see if there might be any stamps left at the lower price.

“Hey, do you still happen to have any of those ‘Forever” stamps left?” I asked breathlessly.

“Uh…yeah?” The cashier responded with a quizzical look.

“I’ll take three booklets!” I said, relieved to still have a chance to save some money on stamps.

Of course you know that there was little chance for that cashier to run out of stamps because the “forever” stamp is the same stamp, it just goes up in price. I didn’t do the math till I was out of the store and when I mentioned to AJ that the cashier had ripped me off it kind of made his day.

Standard

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

That’s right, it’s time for the Seattle Cheese Festival!!!!!!!

Ok, so I like cheese. And Pikes Place Market rife with market-goers laughing over wine-tastings, fish tossings, and cheese-tasting. My only caveat? Don’t wait to go the the bathroom at Pikes Place. The bathrooms are naaaaasty (at least in my experience).

Today AJ put up a fence using this. He’s amazing like that.

Standard

Funny Story

Ok, so here’s the deal.

Several times a week, we walk by a house with a beautiful golden retriever who always comes to the fence to see us as we walk by. If I was the thieving type, I’d steal this dog. Today when we walked by, he wasn’t there and when a couple blocks later, we saw him running loose we knew just where to take him. AJ called the number on his collar and he dragged us (he was super strong and not walk-trained) back down the street toward his house while Violet cried because she was being ignored by the dog and Mom. It wasn’t until we arrived at his house a couple blocks away and knocked at the door that the phone number on his collar called and informed us they were on their way to meet us and that we were at the wrong house.  His owner arrived to get him, and we began to retrace our steps as we resumed our walk home. It wasn’t until we saw the car pull into the drive way that we figured it out. We had rescued the run-away dog when he had been sniffing around the yard of the house across the street from his. Needless to say we ducked down a side street to avoid talking to them as they got out of their car.

In other news, Violet started clapping today! Yay! It’s so freaking cute. Other not so cute things: opening and closing the CD-ROM drive on the computer any chance she gets, hitting the computer power button enough times so that it shuts off right when I’m in the middle of something, and last but not least…bending the radio antenna until it broke off. Michael Medved, I shall miss you.

Standard

haha! wait…

When I was a little girl I remember a friend of my mom’s telling her that it would make her laugh to spank her children because the sight of madly flailing legs over her knee struck her as being funny. She didn’t spank often because of this. Now I understand.

This morning while we were getting ready for church, Violet was getting in to the bathroom cupboards (a favorite pastime). AJ put everything back,  closed the cupboard door, and the following exchange ensued.

“No, no Violet! come to Daddy.”

“No!”

And with that, she opened the cupboard again in the petulant indignance only a baby can muster. We were so caught off guard that punishing her was the furthest thing from our minds.

“Oh my gosh!!!!! Did she just say that?!”

“That was so freaking adorable!!!”

Standard

No, no.

Today I was with a bunch of moms at this conference for an organization that rhymes with Nops. There’s something great about getting a bunch of mom’s together in one room where you start to see pretension and facades slip away. I think knowing that everyone else in that room has had thatday, helps create a sense of camaraderie and puts people at ease. Case in point: a friend and I were meeting people from different groups in an attempt to be social before the conference started. One lady in particular was just finishing up telling us where her group was from when she said this: “Well, I have to go potty, so I’ll catch you later.” Potty?C’mon lady! You’re an adult, surrounded by…adults!  Potty? Using baby-versions of words that you taught your children because they didn’t have the skills to form the real words yet is a huge “no, no”.

Standard

mental pictures

Here’s a couple snapshots into my day.

5:06 pm: setting Violet down on the floor with an entire muffin to devour just to distract her long enough to make potato salad. Turns out, I can’t make salad in 2 minutes.

5:09 pm: chopping celery for potato salad while Violet fully crawls into the back of the tupperware cupboard. This is only made possible by first throwing tupperware and dishtowels all over the kitchen.

5:12 pm: Singing made-up songs to Violet about what a nice, patient baby she is. Someday my propaganda will pay off.

5:17 pm: mixing the sour cream and mayo into my potato salad while holding Violet in the other hand.

5:18 pm: saying “No! No! No!” and blowing in Violet’s face to stop her from fully digging her hand into the jar of mayo as I attempt to spoon some onto the salad. All I want for Christmas is another arm.

Standard

Super Heros: they’re not just for comic books anymore.

Here’s  how good  we are. Today, AJ changed Violet’s diaper while I was nursing her, in the car. That’s right, treasure’s in heaven baby.

On a completely unrelated subject, I have a major problem with the recent influx of bikini baristas. While out and about, we drove by two stands today. Both had been refigured (no pun intended) to include full length windows, and the skimpy little baristas who were probably much younger than you and I, left me finding that the only thing I could appreciate was that they at least weren’t wearing pasties. Seriously people? What is wrong with this culture when (I feel like) no one is flipping out about this like I am?

From a economic standpoint, they should at least be in the same tax bracket as the rest of the sex industry, because you’d be hard pressed to show me how they aren’t a part of it. They also shouldn’t be allowed to serve minors, or people with minors in their car. It is completely ludicris to think that it’s ok for someone to drive up to a bikini, or worse yet, a pasty stand with children in the back.

Don’t get me wrong; I have no problem (well, no big problems) with bikinis. I find it mostly normal and acceptable to go to the beach on a summer day and find girls in bikinis. The problem comes when the girls in the bikini’s are then in a full-window coffee stand and are wearing those bikinis for the benefit of their creeper customers to objectify them for perverted sexual pleasure.

And another thing, aren’t coffee stands good places to get robbed? How are bikini’s supposed to help this problem?

From a personal and social standpoint, two things really piss me off here. One: who ever said it was a good idea to put a bikini stand in Smokey Point? Don’t they know this isn’t the red light district? They may be selling coffee instead of themselves, but we all know the real specials aren’t on the menu. Two: someone really dropped the ball here, in regards to these girls. Where did they learn that it was okay to serve coffee to leering customers in return for better tips? C’mon! They can’t be that good! I get the feeling from “kids these days” that they can dress any way they want because it’s their body/the human form is beautiful and should be enjoyed/there are no consequences for silly stuff like this. You’d be surprised how much silly trouble you can get into with that attitude. I heard a quote the other day that kind of wraps up my point. Modest girls are the hottest girls. Sex and sensuality are not meant to be the hors d’oeuvres served to the drop-in visitors, but maybe they’re more meant to be like the glass of red wine enjoyed by the keeper of the house at the end of the day.

Standard

Several things…

First off…today is the first day I had more than 50 visitors to my blog; 52 to be exact. Who are these people? creepy…

Secondly, because I’m so vain…look at this picture I took:

dsc00225a

Thirdly, and most importantly: I need to know if I’m weird for not washing my feet. I mean, I wash them after a dusty summer day at the fair wearing flipflops…but otherwise they seem to get cleaned quite well just in the shower. Which leads me to the question of the day.

Answer me, people!

Standard

tulips and two-lips

Today we went to the tulip fields. If you’re from around here, you know what I mean, and if you’re not…then you’re probably an internet stalker who has no business knowing in the first place. I’ve been a couple of times before and to a certain extent–if you’ve seen one tulip, you’ve seen ’em all. Nevertheless, the weather was beautiful, the baby was cute, and the tulips were perfectly open.dsc001441

 

Side note: on our way home, there was a little sign off the side of the road that said “PUBLIC HUNTING”. Which brings me to my question; public hunting, or public hunting? I think this sounds like a redneck tourist trap; Tourists show up and the locals hunt them.

Standard

Did you ever know you were my hero…

Ok, so first off, this is not a story I should be telling you. Secondly, if you get grossed out easily, please stop reading–that way you can’t complain to me when you realize that you will never swim in lake goodwin again.

All the characters will remain nameless. So apparently this happened like last summer or something. No, I can’t…I shouldn’t. Okay, super short version:

Imagine you are treading water in Lake Goodwin on a perfect summer day. Then imagine you are surrounded by turds…lots of turds. Now imagine your desperation as you try to swim away from the poop which also happens to be your own because you were out jetskiing in the middle of the lake and you got stuck and had to go bad. Imagine your two friends on the jetski are desperately trying to get it away from you because your poop got caught by the current and floated up on the foot boards of the jetski. Eventually they give up and swim away on their own. Imagine your shock and surprise at not realizing that if you pooped in the water, your poop would float up to the top…where your face is. Imagine trying to doggy-paddle with your own poop bumping against your neck. I’m done. I’m also done with ever swimming in lake goodwin.

In other news…completely unrelated, Violet and AJ gave each other the hiccups. I’m not sure how, but they were chasing each other around the room just now and then they each got hiccups.

This was a nice day. Great weather. Great birthday…incidentally, for the lake pooper himself.

Standard

Baby’s First Roly-Poly

or rolli-polli, or rolie-polie, or…whatever. I figure its a pretty non-technical name, so you don’t have to worry about getting it exact. It’s part of the fun of the english language really.

We were playing in the grass when I found one and then I held it for her and let it crawl up her arm. All she wanted to do was pinch it in her two fat little fingers, so finally we threw it across the yard.

Fun Fact: Violet has figured out how to open and close the CD drive on our desktop. Not cool. Initially she played with it because of the little green light, but now she knows that if she hits that button the tray opens. How very exciting. Also, sometimes I’ll be in the middle of something on my computer and she’ll turn off the power by hitting the power button one too many times.

Anyway, she’s upstairs sleeping right now..which is my cue to follow suit.

Standard

Quote of the Day

“Stomach, you can kiss my butt!”

Someone said this in response to stuffing himself on the amazing dinner we had with our small group tonight (breakfast for dinner–biscuits and gravy).

Anyway, here’s a shout out to moms who have more than one child. Violet and I babysat two of my sister-in-law’s four boys today. hmm…and here I thought pain of childbirth was reason enough to never have any more kids. Violet: prepare to get spoiled for the rest of your life.

Of course I jest. We are going to adopt anyway, but seriously–what do you do with the first kid when you bring the second one home? No one comes and takes it…its not like you get to trade the old one in. once again…just kidding, Mom.

Standard

Texas to Secede

So apparently the governor of Texas was quoted as saying that Texas could(not necessarily would) secede from the union, during a speech at a tea party rally yesterday.

Dear Texas,

Please don’t secede. If ya’ll left us, we’d be screwed.

Much obliged, Pearl.

In other news, I went wine tasting today. For my brother’s birthday, we went out with him, his girlfriend and my parents to two different wineries in the area. Between the six of us, we bought seven bottles of wine. They were sogood! I really like sweeter wines and dessert wines, although sometimes drier wine is nice with some spicy Italian food. My personal favorite (which I didn’t buy because it was expensive) was this white dessert ice wine, where the grapes are left on the vine until the outside temperature drops to 15 degrees. Only at this point are the grapes harvested and pressed–still frozen. The two wineries we went to were the Carpenter Creek winery and the Pasek Cellars winery. Pasek Cellars is known for their fruit wines, of which they have an amazing selection, including everything from Pineapple to a Late Harvest Voignier–which is made of grapes that have been left on the vine as long as possible to get that vine-ripened sweetness (I bought a bottle of this). Carpenter Creek is more of a wine-drinkers winery with a mostly dry selection, but an amazingly fresh and crisp quality to the wine–not unlike drinking from a mountain spring. So, your task should you choose to accept it: Go on a wine-tasting tour.

Afterwards, we all went a local tavern and had some pan-fried oysters. Yum!

Last but not least: Easter candy is now 75% off. Yay!

Standard

Hats Off!

Dear Auntie Showny,

Thank you for entertaining my daughter via “phone sitting” today so I could finish painting the downstairs. I know she’s too little to ever say anything back to you, but I can assure you that she was listening intently the whole time. I was too actually. I could hear you across the room because you were on speakerphone, and as time wore on I began to be progressively more and more amazed at your ability to talk to yourself for so long and have so much to talk about. You told stories, you read books, you sang songs about princesses and flowers (Violet played along on the piano). My personal favorite was the part where you gave her a science lesson, because “…science is your favorite subject.” Who knew that clouds actually weighed like 90 tons, or that cutting an earthworm in half made two worms? Certainly not my daughter. The most impressive part of this whole episode of “Phone Adventures with Auntie Showny” is that you never halted in your speech, but just kept constantly talking while flitting from one subject to the next…for 1 hour, 2 minutes, and 14 seconds. Wow.

Anyway, thanks for being so interesting–my downstairs looks great!

Love, your sister and little your niece.

Standard

“If music be the food of love, play on.” –Shakespeare

I got this in one of those wall sticker things to go on my kitchen wall. I was going to use stencils and pick my own phrase, but…I got scared. I do really like this quote though.

Wow, i totally have nothing to talk about.

Violet is doing belly flops in the bathtub right now. AJ is supervising her and narrating to me while I sit here drumming my fingers on the keyboard. On my right, (your right) my bed sits unmade. AJ took the sheets off to wash them and they never got replaced. I hate making beds…always have. I blame it on having to share a bed with my sister for many years growing up. In fact, I never even had my own room till I was 19 or so. Not that I’m complaining; sharing a bedroom with a sibling is a great way to teach so many important life lessons.

Lesson #1: When on the bottom bunk, never sleep up against the wall, because that will inevitably be the time your sister gets sick and pukes…down the wall.

Standard

If It Ain’t Broke–Take It From The Baby Real Quick…

Today I took advantage of my sister’s talkativeness, and let her entertain Violet over the phone. She and my brother were trying to remember when everyone was born.

Given, with evident disdain,

“’97? That’s so young!”

Shown, with emphatic indignance,

“No, I’m eleven; that’s not young!”

 

And now, in the Things I Never Thought I’d Say category:

“What a nice kiss the monkey just gave you!”

“…yes, I’ll take Ways to Entertain a Baby for 300 please…”

 

This was overheard while Violet was listening to Auntie Showny on the phone today.

“…and the cow says moo. The pig says oink, oink. The doggy says bark, bark.  The bunny says…uhh…”

 

When a mom and a small child are sharing a public bathroom stall, and all you can hear is a panicked “No! No! No! No!” from the mom, you begin to count the small blessings of being able to go to the bathroom by yourself.

Standard

He is Risen Indeed!

Yay for Easter!

Not yay for having two Easter lunches and stuffing my fat face.

Yay for Violet in her cute Easter dress though.

again, not yay for having to go on a dry-bread-and-water fast next week.

One of the fun/not so fun parts of having a small house is periodically getting to play the furniture puzzle game, where everything gets rearranged  and shuffled in yet another attempt to pretend that our house is bigger than it is.

The Memory of the Day I’m Most Likely to Need Therapy For: getting mooned by two of my brothers. Thanks guys, I bet you didn’t know Dad was watching too. Ha! Joke’s on you.

Deep Thought: The more I watch free-will in action, the more I realize how awesome (as in freaking scary) of a gift it is. Sometimes life is like a desperate Shakespearean tragedy, where you understand just how bittersweet everything  is only after you’ve seen the part where you realize that even in the best-case-possible scenario–someone has to pay the price. For those of you just tuning in; we’re not talking about Free Willy.

Standard

To Do List

not in this order…

go downstairs and get fruit salad stuff together

give the baby a bath

start laundry

set out clothes for tomorrow

read That Hideous Strengthwith AJ

stock diaper bag

cheerios in a baggy

take the bag of cotton balls away from the baby

digest mexican dinner

play with Violet to wear her out

Ha! I just looked and Violet has panty lines. I’m not even sure how that’s possible.

She now has two teeth, by the way…

Anyway, this random post goes out to the people using the black markers to write on the cardboard in the hallway while the wind was funnelling the fumes directly onto the stage where I was standing. Thanks guys.

Standard

tooting my own horn

 

so, I made Tiramisu tonight for smallgroup with friends. It was amazing. You should try it. I got this recipe off of bhg.com but I made quite a few changes, so now it’s known as:

Pearl’s Amazing Double Chocolate Tiramisu

1.Make up a box mix of white cake mix. Only add one whole egg, 2 tablespoons of vanilla and the normal amount of oil and water. Beat until completely smooth (to make the cake a little heavier). Cook in square pan. Cook till toothpick comes out clean.

  • 1/4  cup brewed espresso or strong coffee
  • 1  8-ounce carton mascarpone cheese (I used reduced fat cream cheese)
  • 1  cup whipping cream
  • 1/4  cup powdered sugar (or more to taste)
  • 1  teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/3  cup Kahlua
  •   Unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/4 cup white chocolate chips
  • 2 teaspoons butter (not margarine or shortening)
  • cocoa powder for topping

Directions

1. Place the white chocolate chips and 1 teaspoon butter in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high till melted in 30 second spurts. As soon as it is soft enough to spread, spread it as thinly as possible on wax paper on a cookie sheet. Repeat with the semi-sweet chips. Place wax paper in freezer till chocolate sets up and then peel away the wax paper and crackle the chocolate into bits and return to the freezer.

2. When the cake is cooled, cut in half-inch slices and line the bottom of an 8x8x2-inch baking pan with half of the cake, cutting to fit as necessary. Drizzle half of the espresso over the cake; set aside.

3. In a medium mixing bowl, beat together the mascarpone cheese, whipping cream, powdered sugar, and vanilla with an electric mixer just until stiff peaks form. Beat in the Kahlua until just combined. Spoon half of the mascarpone mixture over the cake, spreading evenly. Sprinkle half of the crackled chocolate over the mascarpone mixture. Top with another layer of cake. Layer with remaining espresso and mascarpone cheese mixture.

4.  Top with the other half of the crackled chocolate and sift cocoa powder over the top.

5. Cover and chill for 6 to 24 hours.

6. Fast for the rest of the week and train for that marathon.

Standard

tangents

I got a box of Matzo crackers the other day. They’re kosher crackers used in the celebration of Passover or sometimes broken up and used in church communions. When I was young, my mom always used to buy a bunch after Easter when they would always go on sale and we would eat them with our soup like saltines. Anyway, the whole point of Passover food is that it reminds us of the spartan meal eaten on the first Passover, so I find it pretty funny to see recipes for decadent kosher banana split cakes on the back of Matzo cracker boxes. I’m just saying…someone missed the point here.

So, personal soapbox moment here. To The Lady at The Baby Clothes Store: Why are you trying to sell me a $20 pair of baby shoes for my daughter? Lemme ‘splain something here. I’m cheaper than a bankrupt Jew; if I rarely spend $20 on my own shoes which are not in danger of being outgrown, what makes you think I’m going to spend that on a baby that doesn’t walk? I’m just saying…

Which leads me to another tangent. Anyone who advertises that their baby shoes make it easier for babies to walk, or that the “memory foam insole” will provide a soft cushion for little feet–is taking you for a ride. R-I-D-E. I’m just saying…

Standard

It’s Official!

Violet has her first tooth! Two days before her 9-month birthday, the first little tooth sees the light of day. So weird to picture her with teeth…

There are fewer things cuter than watching her shriek and squirm with excitement when we take her clothes off and carry her to the bathtub.

I bought Violet some sparkly little dress shoes to wear with her cute Easter dress today. We were at this little baby-clothes consignment store in our town, and there was a little boy–about three or four–who was talking to her in their own special language. She was so excited.

So I have this problem. I lose stuff. Not “lose” as in “where are my shoes?” but more like my alter-ego is a kleptomaniac. I have issues with putting things away and not having any idea what I was doing. Case in point: once, I found the head of cabbage that I was going to use for dinner, in the freezer…frozen. Other times, it will be the peanut butter in the fridge, or the mayo in the cupboard. The other day we were missing the honey and I honestly figured the freezer was as good a place to look as any.

So here’s what I don’t understand. Pirates? Really? huh. This is 2009, right? And another thing, why isn’t a US ship off the coast of Somalia armed to the gills? But pirates roving the open seas? Are we devolving or something? If we really are going back to the days of one-eyed peg-legged pirates the good news is that we now have technology on our side. Next time, lets blast those suckers out of the water with a nuclear sub. Not even the parrot will be able to avoid that one.

Standard

day 4 of amazingness

so, the best part about great weather? AJ goes snowboarding and comes home with the worlds best goggle burn. meaning that all the exposed skin on his face is bright red. I’ve been making fun of him all evening to break him in gently for the guffaw that is sure to meet him when he walks in the door at work tomorrow.

Also: Violet almost has teeth. This time it’s for real. I can just see them under the gums–all white and tiny. The two bottom front ones for the benefit of the Grandmas.

Today we had a playdate with Kristin and Emery while AJ and Gerad were out snowboarding. Last time Violet and Emery were together, he was pushing her around and all over her, but this time was different. Partly due to her practicing babywrestlemaniawith her friend Isla, but also due to the fact that Emery had just woken from a nap and the poor unsuspecting kid was eating a cereal bar. Violet has a “no holds barred” fighting policy when it comes to getting food from someone. In general, she was much more impressed by him than he was of her.

I’ve just looked outside and the clouds are starting to roll in. Too bad. It was nice while it lasted; Violet and I even got to be barefoot in the park today. Of course, when I was younger I was barefoot all the time–which explains the three-inch scar on my foot I guess. Not that it stopped me; I remember having races with my brothers to see who could run the farthest from the house in the wintertime, which now strikes me as a sick contest, but we were tough kids–or at least that’s what we were going for.

Standard

un-Fay in the un-Say!

day 3 of perfect weather. perfect.

It’s finally dry enough, so I took Violet out to the park outside our house and let her play in the grass for the first time in her life. when sitting, she tore up as much grass as she could reach, and when crawling, she crawled on her hands and feet to keep her knees from getting wet.

After AJ got home we went out again to another park for a picnic dinner. Our town has a ton of parks. Violet gave AJ a reprise of her unique crawling style, and ate some dried leaves/bugs/dirt. We played frisbee afterwards while she crawled around. Which reminds me; the whole hand-eye-coordination thing is not so much one of my special skills. This fact was hammered home when I was an awkward thirteen-year old on a softball team but back then I figured I’d grow out of it someday. Not so much. I still frequently miss high 5’s on the first shot.

In other news, we finally got That Hideous Strength  from the library. can’t wait.

By the way, will someone please tell me why Barack Obama gets to keep his Blackberry? I guess being the most powerful man in the world comes with some “because I said so” perks.

Standard

yay for me

Today was another beautiful day. as in gorgeous. After church and lunch, we went to the park and took turns riding down the slide with Violet.

By the way, remember that whole announcing-a-fake-pregnancy-on-April-1st thing? I still have people asking me. very impressed with that last-minute idea. I’ve never actually done much for April Fools day–except for a few times–they’ve mostly all been in the pop-rocks-under-the-saran-wrapped-toilet-seat category. Just enough to remind the ones I love to always check the dish sprayer before turning on the sink. Last year, AJ and I took pictures of his little sister’s “pride and joy” suv and posted it for sale on craigslist…something about her moving to another country and needing the money quick–cheap sale. I know for a fact that it was quite a hit–not because she told us, for she was very mad–but because the ad got flagged and shortly afterwards someone posted an ad for free labor to anyone needing movers with our phone numbers attached. Of course it sounded preposterous, but that didn’t stop one old man very determined to take advantage of free help to move all his household belongings. Ha! really?  We thought how awesome it would be to help him move just to spite the ad, but…we aren’t actually that nice. sorry mom. besides he sounded a little crazy.

AJ to Violet just now: “Say it, don’t spray it!”

Standard

Tudae

Today Violet and I were out walking/garage-saleing and we saw a front yard with Easter eggs hidden all over. It was the perfect afternoon for a walk because the weather was amazing…except that a dog barked at her and made her cry, and I had to carry her most of the way home AND push the stroller. She’s heavy.

Here’s a shout out to Clayre, who wed her true love today. She’s been in love with this man for like 12 years. She’s the “friend in Texas“.

AJ worked a half-day today and Violet and I missed him terribly…I feel like I lost half my weekend 😦

Current favorite musician: Sara Watkins. Someone needs to buy me this CD. Favorite song? Long Hot Summer Day

Standard

Ewwwww….

Ok, so here’s a horrific little story to help you sleep tonight: today, a friend of mine pulled the foot of a dead rat out of the mouth of her infant daughter.

Anyway, so here’s my great new idea. You remember those write-your-own-adventure books, where you could choose at different parts in the story what the character would do? “Does Ralphy; (a): remove the mask to reveal his true identity? or (b): slay the princess for making such an audacious request? If you picked (a), please turn to page 127. If you picked (b), please turn to page 135.”

So imagine that in a movie…like a romantic comedy. This, is the future of television. Drawbacks: no theater showings. Advantages: being able to watch a normal movie and make it just the way you want it. It would border on video game territory, because at different parts in the story it would stop and allow you to follow the on-screen options. I’ve decided not to copyright this idea because I prefer to watch someone find it and  make a ton of money, so that someday I can tell my kids, “That was my idea to begin with!” Because, how satisfying does that sound?

Still thinking about that rat foot, aren’t you? Sicko. Ok, for the record, this was not my child–I am not covering for myself. So my friend has a cat that loves to catch gifts of rats and mice and leave them dead at the door step. (see, it can’t be me–I don’t have a cat.) Apparently at some point today, said baby managed to find a piece of said rat and put it in her mouth before her horrified mother could find it and pull it out. There, you satisfied?

Standard

excerpts from today

Watching Violet eat couscous for dinner, I realized this; when you’re 8 months old, eating is as much about the journey as the destination. That’s why I have a hard time getting annoyed when “food time” is really just a prequel to “mess time.” She would attempt to pick up the little granules of couscous in a tiny fist, and by opening it atop her mouth, would lose the majority down her sleeve and in her lap. Food is fun.

As you probably know, today is April Fool’s Day. This year I kept it simple and merely announced on facebook that I was expecting. Who would believe a pregnancy announcement on april fool’s day? Apparently a lot of my friends. It would be pretty ironic if I was actually pregnant. I’m not, but it would be.

I finished painting the downstairs bathroom today. I should really take a picture and post it. I’m never afraid to take risks with color, and this time I think it paid off. Imagine the color blue you would find on the wallmart sign. Now imagine I painted a bathroom that color. You would be wrong; that would be gross. Actually, imagine a blue/green/teal that you might find on the walls of an aquarium. You would be close.

Problem: Violet discovered that the walls open up to show her a whole new playground of unprecedented wonders. You might scoff at her discovery of my bathroom cupboards, but I shudder. And so it starts; today a baby eating cotton balls, tomorrow flushing a curling iron down the toilet.

Standard