Soapbox Moment

You know those little Valentines conversation hearts? How did they ever get to be so lame? Case in point: “U R Mine”, “You Rule”, or “Email Me.” I even saw some like “Forget It” or “No Way!”

Dear Maker of Valentines Day Conversation Hearts,

Why are you so afraid of becoming irrelevant, that you insist on using “trendy” phrases that are no longer in circulation? Seriously, no one says “You Rock” anymore. They just don’t, and even if they do, its kind of tongue-in-cheek. Okay, so maybe they say it occasionally, but that gives you no excuse to try writing it on a candy heart just because it fits.

 

oi. Yes, I know Valentines Day is like 2 weeks ago, but thats just about the time I buy holiday candy.

Interesting Fact: If you come to my house and you eat an Oreo for dessert and then drop some on the floor–the baby will find it. And she will thoroughly eat every last crumb she can find. Whats the point of vacuuming?

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You’re Just Jealous

For some people it’s a boring book…for others its the routine. Still others rely on a cup of hot tea, or those last few minutes of pillow talk. For Violet, it’s butt rubs. Yes, as in a massage on the buttocks. Every night, after a moment or two of obligatory fussing to let us know she doesn’t approve of bedtime, Violet rolls on her tummy and falls asleep with a nice butt rub. She’ll take backrubs too, but not without a butt rub as part of the pachage.

(Editors note: Please do not confuse this story with the story on the next page of the little girl who went to bed and stayed asleep every night. That would be a gross misrepresentation of the facts.)

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Poor Pitiful Me

So I went to the dentist again today. Halfway through the procedure, I was thinking about how pathetic I felt and how pitiful I must look. Poor me, right? I was just thinking that I hoped the dentist thought I looked pitiful too, but if he did, he wasn’t showing any sign of it. And then I thought, “Wait, why would he feel sorry for me? This is all my own fault!” So I sat in the chair feeling extra sorry for myself to make up for the dentist’s lack of concern.

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I probably should have stopped her…

but she was having so much fun!

Today Violet ate a piece of tulle–otherwise known as the kind of fabric used in wedding veils. It was a smallish piece that she stuffed in her mouth before I could catch her, and she had quite a time swallowing it but I was pretty sure she couldn’t choke on it and there was nothing I could do once she had it down her throat anyway, so I just sat there and watched my seven-month old daughter make the faces a cat does when it’s hacking up a hairball. Fun!

Today: we stayed inside all day (not fun) waiting for the UPS that never showed up. she took a nap in her crib after getting up with me at 5am. I assembled three wedding veils for my sister-in-law’s wedding. we played “Pat-a-Cake”. when AJ got home from work, we had brown rice stirfry with carrots, celery, onions and scrambled egg. next, Violet is taking a bath–and she’ll know it as soon as I take all her clothes off in the bathroom. She gets SO (so) excited. After that, she goes to her own bed (please) and AJ and I will read Perelandra by the venerable Lewis.

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I think the tooth fairy skipped our house…

Violet still has no teeth. nada.

New Rule (for everyone): Just Because the Carpool Lane is Not the Other Other Fast Lane, Doesn’t Mean it’s the Other Other Slow Lane.  I’m just saying.

You ever think up new things and wish you could make your ideas a reality? Like flying cars, for instance. Mine? Fart Bells. Thats right, Fart Bells. I have this theory that if everyone knew how much everyone around them in public farted, people might fart less in public. or something like that. Here’s how it would work: A bell over the intercom or on the wall that goes off anytime anyone in the room farts. People could maintain their anonymity, but we’d all know that someone had just farted. seriously, if you’d been at my family’s house tonight–that bell would have been ringing off the hook!

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Gross personal habits

not that I have any, but as I was sitting here playing with my “abc” gum waiting to use the computer, I realized that I probably do–I’m just not aware of them. Seriously though, I just realized that every time (almost) I chew gum, I take it out of my mouth to throw it away, but before I can, I play with it. Stretch it out…make funny string shapes…is that gross?

yeah…speaking  of gross. Today I was listening to talk radio, and the host was completely flabbergasted by a new product he’d just heard about. I can’t remember the name, but it was some sort of product that allows women to use the restroom while standing up. wait: i just found it here. Part of me says, “Sick!” and the other part of me remembers how many times I’ve had to use a public restroom and wished dearly that I didn’t have to sit down. Anyway, the best part about this product, is their slogan.

“Don’t Take Life Sitting Down!”

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Sunday is a fun day for playing in the sun day

except that it rained as soon as we got out of church.

anyway. After church was over, AJ and I were planning on going out to lunch and wanted to see if any of my siblings wanted to come too. Funny thing–since my parents weren’t there and they would be paying for themselves, they weren’t interested.

side note: Coloray looks right at home in the drivers seat of a minivan, with a pretty girl next to him and a bunch of smelly kids in the back. hmmm…

Fun Fact: Violet stood on her tippy-toes to reach the cards we were playing with today.

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