HUGE Disappointment

So, yesterday i had this great idea for a new invention while AJ and I were driving down the road. Aftermarket heated seatcovers. I already had the first prototype designed in my head by the time we got home. Good thing I decided to google them first, right? They are all over the Internet. apparently someone thought of my idea first. Man, if I had been born 50 years earlier, I could have invented so so so many things! Like the computer! oh well.

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Dentists, Lie Detectors and Liars

Top question asked by Dentists:

“How often do you floss?”

What? Seriously? Why even ask that question? Because damned if I do and damned if i don’t tell the truth–they already know the answer! I was sitting in the dentists’ chair this afternoon while he probed my gums to check for gum disease just waiting for the inevitable question.

Him: “You floss much?”

Me: “Yash! Awmosh evey ‘ay” (his fingers were in my mouth).

Not that I can blame Dentists. Its a surefire way to check and see if your patient is a liar. If more people realized this, I’m sure dental appointments on video conference would be mandated by hiring managers.

“Good work history…check. Strong people skills…check. Excellent references…check. Not a liar…check.”

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This is where I stand…

         My hope is built on nothing less
	than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
	I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
	but wholly lean on Jesus' name. 

	On Christ the solid rock I stand,
	all other ground is sinking sand;
	all other ground is sinking sand.

Text: Edward Mote, 1797-1874
Music: William B. Bradbury, 1816-1868

Thats where I stand...thats where I stand.
Today of all days, thats where I stand.
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news flash

No one deserves to have a baby. No one.  The enormity of potential is almost too much grace for one screwed-up individual like me to comprehend. What did I ever do right enough to deserve a chance like this? Being a parent is a huge vote of confidence from God–He knows I can do this. As I listen to her gurgle-coos in the playpen behind me as she attempts to lick the mesh walls, I am reminded of the many ways God steps in and crafts my story like an allegory of His own. The parent-child relationship holds too many similarities to Fatherhood of God that I see displayed throughout history and indeed my own life, for me not to be humbled and challenged by this new extension of Grace.

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ten reasons i hate hot tubs

  1. They always smell funny–like chlorine, and after a while it makes my eyes burn.
  2. they constantly recirculate dead skin cells and hair.
  3. relatively small amount of water + multiple people = not enough water to properly dilute grossness.
  4. they never ever ever get cleaned properly.
  5. if you use a public one at a hotel/sports club/resort, the most frequent users of a hot tub are old men with questionable hygiene practices.
  6. awkward silences. ’nuff said. people don’t get into hot tubs to strike up conversations with strangers–they get in there to relax and be quiet. usually. there’s always someone who doesn’t know this rule.
  7. friends who have them forget how rarely normal people get the opportunity to be in a hot tub and don’t invite said normal people over as much as they should.
  8. they always end up free on craigslist which makes me think 2 things. 1: why is it free? 2: should i not get it and be disappointed now, or should i get it and be disappointed later?
  9. they make guys swim trunks bubble up like a Marilyn Monroe moment.
  10. people can fart in them and you can’t tell.
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