ten reasons i hate hot tubs

  1. They always smell funny–like chlorine, and after a while it makes my eyes burn.
  2. they constantly recirculate dead skin cells and hair.
  3. relatively small amount of water + multiple people = not enough water to properly dilute grossness.
  4. they never ever ever get cleaned properly.
  5. if you use a public one at a hotel/sports club/resort, the most frequent users of a hot tub are old men with questionable hygiene practices.
  6. awkward silences. ’nuff said. people don’t get into hot tubs to strike up conversations with strangers–they get in there to relax and be quiet. usually. there’s always someone who doesn’t know this rule.
  7. friends who have them forget how rarely normal people get the opportunity to be in a hot tub and don’t invite said normal people over as much as they should.
  8. they always end up free on craigslist which makes me think 2 things. 1: why is it free? 2: should i not get it and be disappointed now, or should i get it and be disappointed later?
  9. they make guys swim trunks bubble up like a Marilyn Monroe moment.
  10. people can fart in them and you can’t tell.
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