earthquake

at 5:25 this morning. not even kidding. It only lasted a second or so, which is boring, but i prefer boring when it comes to natural disasters.

Personal Soapbox Moment: Velveeta is not cheese, and should never be compared price-wise against tillamook medium cheddar…or any medium cheddar…or any cheese for that matter.

baby news: Violet ate cheerios this evening. her response? “Meh..”

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Personal Confession

I finished my first Sudoku puzzle today. Not to be confused with “Soduko” or “Sukodu” or “Dukosu” for those of you who can never remember how to pronounce it.  Yes, I may have had to look at the answer key…a few times. I had always thought it involved adding numbers or subtracting or some combination of all the problem solvers in basic math, and the answers would never match up for me, which was frustrating. Now that I know how “easy” it is, my self-esteem has improved dramatically. Anyway, this is boring. Don’t blame me; I just spent a car trip home with a baby screaming hysterically…still a little shell-shocked.

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Nicoderm for Babies?

So…Violet has a fake laugh. It would be cute and funny, except that her fake laugh is strangely akin to a smoker’s laugh. She has many forms of this laugh; ranging from a hoarse, throaty chuckle to a full…smoker’s laugh. I’m sure you know what I mean. If you smoke, I’m sorry–your body deserves better, and I make no excuses for finding humor in the similarities between your laugh and my daughter’s.

Of course, this should come as little surprise to me because she also growls. That’s right, she growls. Which is a little scary, because her cousins also growl, so apparently this is genetic.

Second soapbox for the day: when people live together because they say they “can’t afford” to get married, I do not understand this.

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Game Time

When AJ and I play cards together, we gloat over each other terribly. We just finished playing “Phase Ten,” a card game like rummy with ten different rounds. It went something like this.

Round One: AJ wins. “Oh yeah! Sucka Foo’! Can’t Touch This!”

Round Two: I let AJ win again. “AAAAAAnd that’s what I’m talking about! Ha!”

Round Three: I win. “Oh Yeah, you wish you could have played as good as I just did!”

I’m sure you get the idea. In the end, AJ won this set (closely), and after a kiss and smile to show each other we never meant all the mean things we had just  finished saying, we packed away the cards.

I just realized that a preliminary glance at the title of this post might make you think I was writing about the upcoming Super Bowl. oi. The only(only) time I actually cared who won that humanistic display of materialism and decaying cultural ideals was when my home team, the Seahawks went a few years back. I promise not to go off on a tangent here about how the game was stolen by terrible (terrible) calls, resulting in a deep depression that smote the larger Seattle area for some time.  Great. Now I am writing about the Super Bowl.

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Now That’s Bravery

Violet is scared of the vacuum cleaner. When she’s on the ground crawling and I’m vacuuming, her limbs shake it if comes too close and she cries the whole time its on. The funny thing, is that in spite of this, she finds it her duty to defend her patch of carpet from the roaring monster that takes everything off the ground she was planning to eat.  Yes, you heard right. My six-month old daughter chases off the vacuum-cleaner while crying and shaking.

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We did our taxes today…

Apparently, babies make a big difference in tax returns. Who’d have thought?

Breaking News: If you feed a baby a blackberry-banana smoothie, their “spit-up” is the same color as the smoothie. Purple Urple! The good news is, she was just as entertained by the smoothie the second time around. I found her sitting on the carpet swishing around a little purple puddle with her fingers.

In other news, C.S Lewis is always better the second time around. We’re currently reading his space trilogy, and I’m finding it much more interesting than I did at 13 or 14.

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HUGE Disappointment

So, yesterday i had this great idea for a new invention while AJ and I were driving down the road. Aftermarket heated seatcovers. I already had the first prototype designed in my head by the time we got home. Good thing I decided to google them first, right? They are all over the Internet. apparently someone thought of my idea first. Man, if I had been born 50 years earlier, I could have invented so so so many things! Like the computer! oh well.

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Dentists, Lie Detectors and Liars

Top question asked by Dentists:

“How often do you floss?”

What? Seriously? Why even ask that question? Because damned if I do and damned if i don’t tell the truth–they already know the answer! I was sitting in the dentists’ chair this afternoon while he probed my gums to check for gum disease just waiting for the inevitable question.

Him: “You floss much?”

Me: “Yash! Awmosh evey ‘ay” (his fingers were in my mouth).

Not that I can blame Dentists. Its a surefire way to check and see if your patient is a liar. If more people realized this, I’m sure dental appointments on video conference would be mandated by hiring managers.

“Good work history…check. Strong people skills…check. Excellent references…check. Not a liar…check.”

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This is where I stand…

         My hope is built on nothing less
	than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
	I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
	but wholly lean on Jesus' name. 

	On Christ the solid rock I stand,
	all other ground is sinking sand;
	all other ground is sinking sand.

Text: Edward Mote, 1797-1874
Music: William B. Bradbury, 1816-1868

Thats where I stand...thats where I stand.
Today of all days, thats where I stand.
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news flash

No one deserves to have a baby. No one.  The enormity of potential is almost too much grace for one screwed-up individual like me to comprehend. What did I ever do right enough to deserve a chance like this? Being a parent is a huge vote of confidence from God–He knows I can do this. As I listen to her gurgle-coos in the playpen behind me as she attempts to lick the mesh walls, I am reminded of the many ways God steps in and crafts my story like an allegory of His own. The parent-child relationship holds too many similarities to Fatherhood of God that I see displayed throughout history and indeed my own life, for me not to be humbled and challenged by this new extension of Grace.

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ten reasons i hate hot tubs

  1. They always smell funny–like chlorine, and after a while it makes my eyes burn.
  2. they constantly recirculate dead skin cells and hair.
  3. relatively small amount of water + multiple people = not enough water to properly dilute grossness.
  4. they never ever ever get cleaned properly.
  5. if you use a public one at a hotel/sports club/resort, the most frequent users of a hot tub are old men with questionable hygiene practices.
  6. awkward silences. ’nuff said. people don’t get into hot tubs to strike up conversations with strangers–they get in there to relax and be quiet. usually. there’s always someone who doesn’t know this rule.
  7. friends who have them forget how rarely normal people get the opportunity to be in a hot tub and don’t invite said normal people over as much as they should.
  8. they always end up free on craigslist which makes me think 2 things. 1: why is it free? 2: should i not get it and be disappointed now, or should i get it and be disappointed later?
  9. they make guys swim trunks bubble up like a Marilyn Monroe moment.
  10. people can fart in them and you can’t tell.
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Dinner time

Here’s what’s cookin’:

“Spaghetti Spaghetti Squash”
serves 3-4
1 Spaghetti squash split in half lengthwise and the seeds scooped out.
1 can/jar of spaghetti sauce.
3 dashes of Parmesan cheese.

Cook the squash in the oven covered with foil at 350 till soft inside 1-2 hours. fluff with fork and remove from the rind into a pot.
Add 1-2 tablespoons butter while separating the “spaghetti” strands with a fork. Pour sauce over the top and heat on low on the stove top.
Sprinkle parmesan cheese over the top.

That’s what i’m making…this keeps really well too–making it ideal for dinner the night before and lunch the next day.
Serve with garlic bread and salad if you choose.

Mostly i can’t think of a whole lot to say for today’s post. Violet is learning to crawl (exciting!), she just barfed all over me, i’ve been home all day, etc.

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the sad kind

quote of the day: (from my husband)

“I have a sneeze in the back of my nose, you know–the sad kind.”

“The sad kind?”

“The sad kind of sneeze that just teases”

in other news, AJ is officially hot. make that hott.

So apparently, the first two games in the new Yankee Stadium this spring will be sold at the same prices they were sold at when Babe Ruth played there. $.25 for bleacher seats and $1.10 for grandstand. Let me just say this, if i had a penny for every homeless person that attends those two games, i’d be rich. Plus, they have all the time in the world to wait in line–i mean, what else are they going to do, go to work?

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i’m going on record

i watch The Bachelor. i said it. Yes, i watch that depraved, animalistic, stone-age version of romance. So shoot me.  I think its fascinating.

There are so many elements of the show that I find to be either proof that it’s rigged, or sometimes I even wonder if they are not all paid actors. Watching the journey of the women, as they immediately fall for the Bachelor and one by one get their hearts broken because the man of their dreams is publicly cheating on them and then dumping them, is an irresistible study in human behavior.  You could write entire books on the psychological environment on that show. Anyway, enough about my dirty secret.

Ok. so you remember that “no backspacing” idea i had at the beginning? turns out–thats not a great idea. lately i’ve noticed that i will start typing something (i type mostly by touch) and realize that my fingers are writing different words than i’m thinking–like completely different! If i didn’t use the “Back Space” button, that last sentence would have looked something like this. would have thrusday definately lotion. see? not good. What is wrong with me?

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Overheard in the bathroom at The Old Spaghetti Factory

“Because it isn’t nice to walk around in restaurants with your pants down–that’s why.”

I heard this through the stalls while a mom was talking to her small daughter who evidently had no interest in pulling her pants back up after going to the bathroom.

“Because it isn’t nice.”

The alternate title to this post could also have been “Phrases You Never Thought You’d Say.”

Sounds like something my mom would have said…probably something I’ll find myself saying someday.

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yogurt and cheerios

thats what i had for breakfast this morning. i ate the yogurt out of the yogurt cup with a too-big spoon and sprinkled each spoonful with cheerios, except the cheerios kept rolling off the table like little wheels before i could catch them. did you ever notice how well equipped cheerios are for rolling? somebody should organize a cheerio-rolling contest.

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