You should already know this…

Dear Random-Father-Grocery-Shopping-At-Safeway-Tonight,
Please do not encourage your daughter to wash her hands off using the mister that’s spraying directly over the broccoli I’m planning on getting. Just because it’s water, doesn’t mean it’s meant for washing hands.
As for the rest of you…please tell me this was an isolated incident. My faith  in mankind is having serious [...]

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I love gullible people.

Today I walked to Safeway with a friend of mine who shall remain nameless due to her highly gullible nature.
We both bought bags of grapes, and she started eating hers as soon as we left the store.
“Don’t eat your grapes, they’re covered in pesticides!”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to wait till we get home–I’ll just [...]

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DQ

“When is the health inspector going to get around to closing this Dairy Queen down finally?”
“When they go inside.”
AJ and I were sitting in our car after church and the church parking lot is right across from Dairy Queen. Picture if you will, the oldest fast food restaurant in town where each year has left [...]

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bathroom break

“Well Auntie Pearl, at least I’m really sorry about all of this!”
When these words are shouted from the bathroom by a 5 year-old boy, you know it can’t be good.

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ten reasons i hate hot tubs

They always smell funny–like chlorine, and after a while it makes my eyes burn.
they constantly recirculate dead skin cells and hair.
relatively small amount of water + multiple people = not enough water to properly dilute grossness.
they never ever ever get cleaned properly.
if you use a public one at a hotel/sports club/resort, the most frequent users [...]

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